A few days ago Crissy got a friend request on Facebook. This happens almost every day because, well, Crissy is the QOFE and everyone loves her and wants to be close to her. Sometimes she does not accept the friend request because she thinks it’s rude for people to just add her as a friend without so much as sending her a message first. Come on now people! Even dogs sniff each other’s asses before they make friends.
Crissy is not suggesting we do that but she feels very strongly that at least a “how do you do” is in order.
And sometimes Crissy sends them a message inquiring as to how they found her because Crissy insists on some sort of contact with each and every one of her Facebook Queefs.
Crissy does not want random freaks in the ranks of her “friends.” Crissy is enough of a random freak all by herself thank you very much.
Sometimes Crissy has accepted people just for the hell of it even though she sort of knows they’re of the unsavory sort and they turned out to be just as she suspected because she’s smart and also slightly psychic like that and so she has been forced to block them.
One time this random freak tried to tell her he was in Western Civ class at Providence College and Crissy was not having it because Western Civ classes had like 100 people in them and the only person Crissy spoke with was a very sweet little lesbian named Regan. Not some dude named P.T. Sullivan. And so when her good buddy P.T. tried to ask her what she’s been up to she said:
“Oh, you know the usual. Got out of rehab, got over my gambling problem and I’m just trying to get my life back on track. I get to see my kids this Friday!”
And he never wrote back.
But this time Crissy got a very sweet request from Hafiz Ayaz Ali Qureshi and his request was very sweet and Crissy tried to cut and paste it here for you but she can’t find it now but it was sweet so she accepted his request and from that moment to right now and maybe even as we speak he has been showering her with “expensive gifts” and “kiss kiss hottest crush” and “wall posters” and “perfume” and Crissy has no idea what these things are and she doesn’t have time to find out so maybe if one of you Facebook savvy Queefs know you can fill her in. Please. He also sends Crissy many greeting cards wishing her a “Happy Eid Day.” Like two or three per day.
Crissy does not know what the hell Eid day is so she looked it up and apparently it is some sort of Ramadan thing. Crissy hopes that he doesn’t expect her to stop eating or swearing.
That would totally blow chunks if Crissy couldn’t eat or say naughty words because that’s pretty much Crissy’s day.
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- The story that’s not actually a story except it TOTALLY is one! But not in the sense that you think I said it is. Only it’s completely true mostly. I’ve even confused myself at this point.
- On some days, I write some words, and on some days, I don’t. Today, I did. Did I use too many commas because I feel like maybe that was too many?
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