I’m Flippin’, I’m Floppin’, I’m Lovin’ Every Minute of it!

Crissy is confused.

And Crissy is wondering if anyone else has this same problem.

And Crissy would like to say that she knows these pictures are recycled from another post so you don’t have to say it. She just didn’t think it was necessary to take more pictures if she already had them because Crissy is busy doing QOFE things that you Queefs cannot possibly understand unless you have a kid who is bothering the shit out of you right now, a husband, a job, some pets, a house to take care of, and you’re trying to read The Other Boleyn Girl. If you do understand Crissy’s QOFE things then you should call her and make a date to get bombalooed together because Crissy feels like she needs a par-tay.

Anyway, the problem is this:

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It’s Mister’s favorite outfit, his signature look, if you will.

Shirt, no pants or underwear of any kind, paired with slippers, sneakers, or boots. Sometimes socks. Sometimes not socks if he’s feeling particularly sassy that day. Perhaps he could borrow Crissy’s Sockettes sometime. Or maybe the rainbow socks would be cute with this outfit.

And Crissy does not think this is a very good look and when she asks Mister to put some pants on for the love of all that is good and decent in this world what exactly makes him think this is acceptable attire she gets this:

“Wha? It’s too cold not to wear a shirt!”

Ah ha.

Mister does not understand that Crissy is not complaining about the shirt. Crissy is grateful that there is at least a shirt.

It is the lack of pants that is problematic because while Mister thinks his danglys are ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL and should be shared with the world as often as possible, Crissy disagrees.

Crissy thinks that boy’s danglys are so. not. pretty.

Not that Crissy thinks her stuff is all that appealing either but Crissy at least has the good sense to cover that shit up.

But Mister just walks around with

It.

Out.

And it’s not just on occasion.

It’s ALWAYS.

He comes home, he takes off his shoes, he takes off his pants, puts his shoes back on (!), and voila!

He’s flippin’, he’s floppin’, he’s lovin’ every minute of it and Crissy is just trying not to let him get too close to the dinner she’s cooking because nobody wants to eat soup that may or may not have come into contact with Mister’s peenie.

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38 comments

  1. Note to self: Do not eat at the Crissy’s house.

    What does girlfriend have to say about all this? You could always tell mister that he doesn’t want to be vulnerable to another almost-teabagging incident.

    P.S. The movie of the Other Boleyn Girl sucked. Don’t bother!

  2. Yeah, see, when we’re feeling nudity is required, underwears are always involved. As hot as dangly bits are sometimes, they don’t need to dangle all over the house – that does not make for sexy time.

    Also, may I just point out that you are in the fucking #4 spot in the Hottest Mommy Blogger category? THAT! IS! AWESOME!

    Can I meet you and feel up on you a little bit? That would be awesome. We definitely have to get you in the top four. Watch out Dooce…

  3. Mister must have been in my dream. I was in a Doctor’s office, and a naked, bald doctor came into the room I was in (with other people) and grabbed some charts, said some medical things, and went about his bidness……..the other women and I just shook our heads in that ‘knowing’ way, and tried not to laugh………

    Men

    Why do they think the danglys are all that AND bag of chips? They are SO NOT……

  4. I had an old boyfriend that was naked pretty much as soon as he stepped through the door. He lived in a small loft apartment, so I frequently found myself following him upstairs to the bedroom. I felt like I was hiking behind a billy goat.

  5. Listen, he’s doing laundry, he’s loading the dishwasher…if he wants to walk around half-naked while doing stuff around the house — stuff that I then don’t have to do — then hell, I’ll hide all his pants and tighty whiteys! Flip! Flop! Be free! Just don’t forget to vacuum under the couch!

  6. Can I just say that I had a nakedy father and it was so NOT awesome. Your daughter will be blogging about her creepy naked daddy someday.

  7. Far be it from me to tell another adult person what he or she should do in their own home… that being said, perhaps one should consult with Girlfriend’s pediatrician on the advisability of her being exposed to the dangly parts because I recall having read somewhere that once kids are really aware of the difference between boy people and girl people that perhaps parental modesty should be advised. Advise Mister that nakie time in the confines of the bedroom is wonderful but to avoid future near-teabagging incidents (not to mention Girlfriend describing, in detail, to her dance teacher or random strangers on the street the aforementioned dangly bits)that perhaps at least a banana hammock is advisable. Not to mention that I thought he was boiling the bits to keep them WARM to curtail reproduction which would mean that the free floppin’ dangly bits is counterproductive to that particular endeavor…

  8. Thankfully my boyfriend doesn’t walk around with his dangly showing. Otherwise I’d make him stay outside on the balcony the whole time for the world to see. And then his dangly would freeze. Hehe.

  9. *squeals out of driveway in car FULL of boxed wine, screaming “I’m coming Crissy!!!!”*

    P.S. My sister found a T-shirt that reads “With a shirt this awesome who needs pants”. I was ordering one for Dan, I’ll add one for your hubby too…

  10. Could this not scar Girlfriend tremendously? Seinfeld knew it best when he said that men naked (or in this case partially so) are no good. At least women (still not acceptable in all situations) are somewhat more appealing through the (wait for the pun) naked eye.

  11. I would tell him to cover that shit up before it scars girlfriend for life. I think I would scream, cry then puke if I saw my dad naked. It would be fine …well maybe not…if it were just you and mister. But you gotta put girlfriend’s best interests first.

    P.S. love your blog. it’s my fav. you are true QOFE. And I tried to sign up to vote for your twice and both times it wouldn’t verify that I signed up.

  12. this post actually made me lol.

    here’s the issue folks: i don’t wear underwear.

    so when i take of my pants at the end of the day, i don’t have anything on my lower half.

    i’ve never been a pj person. why put on clothes just so you can get between the sheets and then go to sleep and wake up and take them off??

    as far as girlfriend, she calls it a penis. she knows not to touch it, though she is curious. i’m not going to act embarrassed and ashamed about having boy parts. she’s three–there’s plenty of time for her to learn embarrassment and shame later.

    rest assured though, wifey… it IS getting colder outside, and oil costs bookoo money, so i suspect i’ll be wearing a lot more clothes in the coming weeks.

  13. See? I just don’t feel the need to take my pants off at the end of the day. Until I’m ready for bed. Crissy? There’s shelters and stuff for you and Girlfriend. You know that, right?

  14. Wow. Just wow. I just hope Girlfriend doesn’t end up like my college roommate who came from a family who was fond of being nude and she knew all the nicknames for her dad’s cock. It was really disturbing.

  15. I understand the need to take off one’s annoying work clothes and all – it’s usually the first thing I do when I get home. But the idea of sitting around the house with nekkid downstairs bits just is a bit too oogy for me, especially if I sit somewhere someone else’s nekkid downstairs bits were recently residing. Hmmm. Plus nekkid cooking is dangerous.

  16. Pants are about as useful as sockettes.

    Also, children are not traumatized at the very sight of dicks. Cocks are not evil or radioactive. Yeah, maybe teabagging is not such a good idea, but Girlfriend’s corneas will not burn clear off from the mere sight of a penis. Even if Ken’s huge rod is doing the 45-degree salute, it ain’t gonna hurt nobody.

  17. For all the people saying they wouldn’t sit on your couch?

    Please….

    I assume that other people, like me, have been naked in every room and on every piece of furniture in the house. That’s the benefit of owning things – you know, being naked on them.

    Seriously. I’ve teabagged all my belongings to prove my ownership. Get over it.

    Can I get you a chair?

  18. wow

    the image with mister legs sprawled open sitting on the couch is just WRONG! I for one will be thinking about that the next time i visit. certainly its OK to do whatever you want in your household but i dont really need any long lasting image. its like seeing your parents having sex. i mean you strongly suspect its happening behind closed doors, but do you really want to see a snapshot of it!??!!

  19. p.s. if chrissy wins the hottest mommy blog and she has to pose nekkid, i think stoogepie ought to pose at least half nekkid….

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