On Sunday Crissy and Mister took Girlfriend and Alice for a walk at Schmuckytown Woods and it was rather enjoyable even though Girlfriend is slower than a bag of turtles and Crissy had to keep stopping to make sure she hadn’t fallen into a gully or a ravine or a cavern or anything.
And we came across a Miracle Tree and some very interesting horsey poo but Crissy will tell you about that later because as much fun as the Miracle tree and the horsey poo was, nothing can compare to the other magical thing the Crissys found during their walk.
The Crissy’s discovered that it was the perfect sort of day to catch sight of the fascinating creatures called the Woodland Gays in their natural habitat.
And they didn’t even need their binoculars because all they had to do was walk along the trails to encounter the badly dressed out of shape middle aged married men walking alone along the trails carrying backpacks full of gay porn, kleenex, condoms and lube and there you have a Woodland Gay.
You can also identify them by their mating call which sounds an awful lot like the Woot! Woot! Disco Call made famous in discotheques and gay bars the world over.
And one must be careful not to go too deeply into the woods because you do not want to disturb the Woodland Gays during their mating ritual.
They are shy creatures and sometimes prefer to hide behind trees and peek out at you.
Here’s one such fellow now.
(This picture is not from yesterday)
And the Woodland Gays, if on a trail and confronted directly with recreating families like the Crissys, will not make eye contact and say “good afternoon” because they know that you know what they’re really there for and it ain’t a nice hike in the fresh Schmuckytown Woods air.
They’re looking for a whole ‘nuther type of adventure.
They don’t want you to know that they know you know that they know that you know and they know and everyone knows.
And so everyone pretends that the Woodland Gays aren’t.
But they so. are.
And when Crissy sees them she wants to shout “Tell your wife you’re gay! She’s probably sick of you anyway!” And also Crissy would set up a booth in the woods and interview potential gay bffs but she has a feeling the Woodland Gays are not the type of gays that will help her pick out a pair of pants that make her ass look wonderful.
PS: All you bloggers who have not pimped the stoogepie sweepstakes (which, btw has grown a bit and is now worth about $1,200!) must report to stoogie to learn about the nude MILF Pimp Prize because he has an $800 camera for one lucky blogger to win. Your odds are pretty damn good since so far we have Chris, Maxie, Ben, Adminerella, My stupid husband, Melissa, Dingo, and Rachel M.. So pimp this shit and you have a really strong chance at getting something out of it. You also have to let stoogie know you did it because he’s not God you know. Close, but no.
PPS: Right now three fucking MEN are beating Crissy for Hottest Mommy Blogger and it goes up Crissy’s bum sideways. Crissy will consider it a great victory to at least hand their hairy asses to them.