Crissy went on a little bit of a shopping spree on Saturday sans Girlfriend and it was glorious. She was able to try on clothes without spending the entire time arguing with Girlfriend about getting out of the stroller (she peed under a rack at Old Navy once and Crissy had to use a Clearance sweater to mop it up. It’s okay though because the sweater was u.g.l.y.) or searching her bag for a cup of juice, a bag of bunny crackers, or her beloved die cast Thomas the Tank Engine.
And Crissy got a bunch of essential things like pants for work and her first pair of skinny jeans since 1986 and she’d show you pictures but you really don’t give a rat’s ass and also Crissy got some things she’s needed for a while but just put off getting.
Like these little Sockettes, for example:
They’re actually called shoe liners but Crissy thinks Sockettes is better. Try saying it.
Sockettes.
Now try it with an Outrageous French Accent.
Sockettes! Awhuhuhuhaw!
See?
Fun.
For the uninitiated, these little jobbies are meant to be worn in lieu of socks so that the wearer can look stylishly sock-less whilst her tootsies stay warm and dry and comfy all day long.
They’re supposed to HIDE in the shoe.
As in not visible.
They are the most bullshit product ever made.
Granted the ones pictured above are not the ones Crissy bought. She got the Target brand ones but really they’re the same thing and Crissy was sooo excited about her new Sockettes that she rushed home to try them out with all her favorite shoes and this is what happened:
FAIL.
Big. Giant. Fail.
So Crissy has decided that what she will do instead is just go the opposite direction and just wear the loudest, most obvious socks she can find.
These are rather nice…
Puet sucez mon pénis, Sockettes.
Awhuhuhuhaw!
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September 30th, 2008 at 7:48 AM
that is actually a whole bunch of fun to say in a french accent…I even did the laugh at the end, and wobbled my head a little.
September 30th, 2008 at 8:19 AM
Cute Shoes!!!
September 30th, 2008 at 8:21 AM
I have rainbow socks like that
September 30th, 2008 at 8:37 AM
Shoes #2? I has them. Love them. And usually wear them without socks. Without tights. Without sockettes. Try it - living on the wild side can be fun!
September 30th, 2008 at 8:47 AM
Not to go all Project Runway on you but I’m assuming if you trim them, they’ll fray like the motherfuckers that they are, right?
September 30th, 2008 at 9:08 AM
I’ve never met a pair of Sockettes that actually hid like they were supposed to. Stupid Sockettes. On the other hand, I think you have the name for your girl gang. You know, the one you are going to have when you go to your reunion to open a can of whoop ass on Puttin’ on the Ritz?
September 30th, 2008 at 9:59 AM
Oooooo! Cutesie shoes!!! And the Sockettes tres suckette. Shoesette look better sans Sockettes.
Ok too much French and made-up French.
September 30th, 2008 at 10:14 AM
I have those rainbow socks…but mine have the little toe compartment thingies. But I have a little bad news for you: I have the non-Target sockettes and they still peek out of my shoes. Sockettes are no good!
September 30th, 2008 at 10:16 AM
That’s hot.
September 30th, 2008 at 10:40 AM
obviously you’re asking too much from your sockettes.
lower your expectations and life gets much less disappointing!
September 30th, 2008 at 10:43 AM
The only time they really properly hide in your shoes is if you wear them under short boots. Then if you find some small enough to hide right, they keep slipping down off your heel and you’re walking on a little sock wad.
September 30th, 2008 at 11:16 AM
MUST KNOW WHAT BRAND AND WHERE TO GET SHOES IN PICTURE NUMBER TWO. SOCKETTES BE DAMNED. I MUST HAVE THEM.
Oh, and I gave up sockettes years ago. I had the same problemo. Just put a little baby powder in the bottom of your shoes. It’s better than the sweat and stank.
September 30th, 2008 at 11:49 AM
Maybe you can just get your legs tattooed in stripes and save the trouble. It does look good though, perhaps not with that little black dress but it will draw attention down.
September 30th, 2008 at 11:59 AM
My ex girlfriend had a clearance sweater once that smelled like piss…
makes me wonder…
September 30th, 2008 at 12:03 PM
What Megan said.
And also those grey shoes? DIE. LOVE. BANANAS.
And other Rachel Zoe sayings.
September 30th, 2008 at 12:26 PM
My favs are number 3. I am a big sucker for Mary Jane-type shosies. So that’s my vote. Even though we’re not voting.
September 30th, 2008 at 12:28 PM
HAHAHA
clearance sweaters=urine rags
Man, that Girlfriend. Too funny. Sockettes suck, but baby powder works wonders.
September 30th, 2008 at 12:50 PM
Maybe you just have really, really tiny feet? Like an elf. With nice boobs. And ass.
September 30th, 2008 at 1:02 PM
Oh, I was going to say the same thing that you said at the the end. My thought is, just go for it with the socks. Get some knee highs and some cute argyles and wear the shit out of those with your cute shoes. People will admire your self-confidence. Plus I’m thinking I’m only wearing knee highs this fall and we can be twinners.
September 30th, 2008 at 1:16 PM
i want melissa to knit me some socks.
and maybe a banana hammock, for those colder days.
September 30th, 2008 at 2:13 PM
I love the rainbow socks.
I’m also thinking thigh-high stockings, with a cute seam design on the back, would work really well with all those shoes or with nothing else at all. Okay, maybe a garter. If you insist.
But I do love the rainbow socks.
For the record, fuck sockettes.
September 30th, 2008 at 2:49 PM
Sockettes are very stylish. If your definition stylish = looking like one of the Golden Girls.
I, too, once fell victim to the claim that sockettes would make my toes happy.
September 30th, 2008 at 3:29 PM
I just said “sockettes” six times in a row. Just..FYI.
Your shoes are fantastic, by the way!
September 30th, 2008 at 4:49 PM
I bought sockettes that matched my shoes - you know red shoes, black and red sockettes…seems to work well enough that I don’t get made fun of…
September 30th, 2008 at 5:29 PM
my mom tries to buy and make me where those all the time.
hello! they don’t work with 98% of flats!
here’s my helpful tip for you - i found that the ones that are just made to cover your toes and the balls of your feet work best no heel coverage. next time you see them - buy them!
September 30th, 2008 at 5:42 PM
At least the shoes are cute! That’s all that really matters.
October 1st, 2008 at 6:58 PM
How did your shoes get cuter than mine?