As we moved along the Equestrian trails at Schmuckytown Woods on Sunday, Girlfriend came across a large pile of horsey poo and exclaimed
“WOW! Mommy look! That’s the biggest pile of shit I’ve ever seen! And it’s fancy too! It’s got corn in it!”
and so on second thought it may not have been horsey poo after all because Crissy has never never seen corn in horsey poo but maybe that’s because she’s never really taken a good look before. And Crissy is a little bit afraid of horses because they’re rather large and even though this may or may not have happened
Crissy generally makes it a point to avoid horses and stick to enjoying them from a distance.
It’s all because of when Crissy was a wee little 6th grade Crissy and she slept over her friend Gina’s house and Gina had horses and one stepped on her foot and it HURT wee little 6th grade Crissy’s delicate footie, not to mention how much it hurt wee little 6th grade Crissy’s crotchals after riding him.
Anycrap, Crissy would have taken a picture of the mystery crap but she sort of draws the line at putting pictures of poo on her blog.
(Holy shit! Crissy has found her limit! who’d a thunk she even had one!?!)
Crissy is thinking that maybe instead of a horsey that one of the Woodland Gays was experiencing issues that day and had to use his woodsy cradle of love for another purpose.
Too much corn, perhaps.
Similar Posts:
- The Woodland Gays
- The Most Random Crap You’ve Ever Read
- Where My Gays At?
- Somebody WHAT in the WHO???
- “Mind If I Play Through?”
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:21 AM
I can’t imagine a human pooping randomly in the woods… I never would, but I don’t pee in the woods either so maybe I’m not the one to ask.
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:21 AM
There’s such thing as mystery crap?!?! Thank baby jeebus you didn’t post that … I dunno if I could stomach that so early in the morning.
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:21 AM
I never noticed the corn-in-poop phenomenon until someone mentioned it to me. From then on, no more corn for me.
The end.
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:01 AM
So, you post a picture of a horse with Crissy and then an ass with corn. Should we expect any more additions to the Crissys barnyard menagerie?
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:29 AM
Is that the Woodland Gay that you think pooped the corn? Oh, I’m sorry, did I just insult Woodland Gays? My bad.
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:40 AM
I think the Woodland Gays would at least have the decency to cover their “leavings.” It was probably some RI Redneck; I don’t think he’s above taking pictures of his poop.
“Hey, wouldja lookit’ that!”
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:02 AM
poo can not be the line that is uncrossable!!! show us the poop!
actually, i don’t really wanna see poop. nevermind.
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:09 AM
A pile of horse shit actually eating the corn! Or maybe the whole shebang was evacuated out of some giant horse’s ass (”Bar” in Kennebunkport perhaps?!)
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:42 AM
poop
corn
and now I’m having flashbacks of horrible poopy diapers.
Thank you
Thank you very f*cking much
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:09 AM
At 7:00 am, I am very thankful you chose NOT to post of photo of corn crap…but the photo of crap eating corn made me lol!
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:09 AM
P.S. I caught my typo…too early to talk about crap I guess!
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:42 AM
You know, I have to say I’m shocked that poop is your uncrossable line. Although, for the sake of my stomach (poop pics and breakfast just wouldn’t mix well) I’m glad it was your line.
Ugh…but now I’m picturing it in my head and I don’t think I’ll be eating corn again for awhile….
September 23rd, 2008 at 10:51 AM
Well, the Woodland Gays have to clean out before they are secretly impaled. I’m just saying.
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:09 AM
Why is it that once one learns that the human body doesn’t digest corn, that we all begin looking for the kernals each time we poop? Or is that just me?
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:16 AM
I’ve ALMOST taken a picture of poop. Almost. But I guess I’m with you. There have to be lines.
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:42 AM
I know about Megan’s picture of the poop and I, for one, would still like to see it.
That doesn’t make me weird, okay?
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:45 AM
I thought you said you wouldn’t put pictures of poo on your blog. Why is that one with the corn then displayed?
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:11 PM
You’re a poop tease.
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:17 PM
Given the volume difference between horsey leavings and human leavings (even those of Woodland Gays), I would conjecture that if it appeared a big enough pile to be horsey leavings, that’s what it was…. or…perhaps Crissy stumbled upon the sacred leavings pile of the Woodland Gays as a community. It would make sense that they wouldn’t want to inadvertently get it on themselves during their romping so they would designate one particular spot in the woodlands as the dumping ground. Thank you for deciding against the poop pics… I thought the pic of the Horse’s Ass was quite sufficient.
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:19 PM
I actually tried to click on that screen shot of the video.
I’m sick.
But not as bad as that horse, apparently, which can’t digest corn.
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:31 PM
I have a picture of poop on my phone. I have no limits.
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:39 PM
Horse shit!
Your boundary is not shit! Maybe in this particular case you decided that a huge pile of horse shit dotted with corn was not where you wanted your blog to go today, but if that had been human shit — maybe in a high-heeled shoe or on top of a mailbox — you would have taken a picture and shared it with us. You might have even had a video of the shit, with you singing “Jimmy crap corn and I don’t care in the background.”
Shit is not your limit. I have faith.
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:54 PM
Corn in poop. Blech.
don’t care if equine or human…..Blech.
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:05 PM
The horsie food might be organic or some shit and have corn in it.
Once, I rode a horse. The horse in front of mine on our “trail run” was pooping the whole way.
It got on my horsie’s face.
Meagan was unhappy.
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:07 PM
I’m going to pretend I didn’t read this.
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:11 PM
eeew…. presidential ear hair
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:51 PM
i have two words for you:
japanese porn.
September 23rd, 2008 at 3:09 PM
I had a horsie step on my foot, too!!! I was a wee little one, but I don’t remember what grade I was in at the time. I wasn’t naked like you in that picture, though
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:11 PM
That picture you posted will probably haunt my dreams tonight.
I hate W.
September 23rd, 2008 at 4:39 PM
I saw a man pooping at Green Lake in the open once. Green Lake being a very popular park in Seattle. he was just pooping right out in the open for everybody to see in the middle of a Saturday afternoon. That’s my story about poop.
September 24th, 2008 at 9:06 AM
[...] Apparently even magicians on liquid diets have to take a poo now and then. And, since I know some people draw the line at poop pictures**, I thought I’d try and fill the void. Okay, in all fairness, I was too icked out to take [...]