Is that Horse Shit or am I an Asshole?

As we moved along the Equestrian trails at Schmuckytown Woods on Sunday, Girlfriend came across a large pile of horsey poo and exclaimed

“WOW! Mommy look! That’s the biggest pile of shit I’ve ever seen! And it’s fancy too! It’s got corn in it!”

and so on second thought it may not have been horsey poo after all because Crissy has never never seen corn in horsey poo but maybe that’s because she’s never really taken a good look before. And Crissy is a little bit afraid of horses because they’re rather large and even though this may or may not have happened

Crissy generally makes it a point to avoid horses and stick to enjoying them from a distance.

It’s all because of when Crissy was a wee little 6th grade Crissy and she slept over her friend Gina’s house and Gina had horses and one stepped on her foot and it HURT wee little 6th grade Crissy’s delicate footie, not to mention how much it hurt wee little 6th grade Crissy’s crotchals after riding him.

Anycrap, Crissy would have taken a picture of the mystery crap but she sort of draws the line at putting pictures of poo on her blog.

(Holy shit! Crissy has found her limit! who’d a thunk she even had one!?!)

Crissy is thinking that maybe instead of a horsey that one of the Woodland Gays was experiencing issues that day and had to use his woodsy cradle of love for another purpose.

Too much corn, perhaps.


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33 comments

  1. I think the Woodland Gays would at least have the decency to cover their “leavings.” It was probably some RI Redneck; I don’t think he’s above taking pictures of his poop.

    “Hey, wouldja lookit’ that!”

  2. A pile of horse shit actually eating the corn! Or maybe the whole shebang was evacuated out of some giant horse’s ass (“Bar” in Kennebunkport perhaps?!)

  3. You know, I have to say I’m shocked that poop is your uncrossable line. Although, for the sake of my stomach (poop pics and breakfast just wouldn’t mix well) I’m glad it was your line.

    Ugh…but now I’m picturing it in my head and I don’t think I’ll be eating corn again for awhile….

  4. Given the volume difference between horsey leavings and human leavings (even those of Woodland Gays), I would conjecture that if it appeared a big enough pile to be horsey leavings, that’s what it was…. or…perhaps Crissy stumbled upon the sacred leavings pile of the Woodland Gays as a community. It would make sense that they wouldn’t want to inadvertently get it on themselves during their romping so they would designate one particular spot in the woodlands as the dumping ground. Thank you for deciding against the poop pics… I thought the pic of the Horse’s Ass was quite sufficient.

  5. Horse shit!

    Your boundary is not shit! Maybe in this particular case you decided that a huge pile of horse shit dotted with corn was not where you wanted your blog to go today, but if that had been human shit — maybe in a high-heeled shoe or on top of a mailbox — you would have taken a picture and shared it with us. You might have even had a video of the shit, with you singing “Jimmy crap corn and I don’t care in the background.”

    Shit is not your limit. I have faith.

  6. The horsie food might be organic or some shit and have corn in it.

    Once, I rode a horse. The horse in front of mine on our “trail run” was pooping the whole way.

    It got on my horsie’s face.

    Meagan was unhappy.

  7. I had a horsie step on my foot, too!!! I was a wee little one, but I don’t remember what grade I was in at the time. I wasn’t naked like you in that picture, though 🙁

  8. I saw a man pooping at Green Lake in the open once. Green Lake being a very popular park in Seattle. he was just pooping right out in the open for everybody to see in the middle of a Saturday afternoon. That’s my story about poop.

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