Wow, well Crissy didn’t know that everyone cared so much about her uterus and it’s potential inhabitants but all the voting and advice has touched her deeply in a very private place.
Thanks Queefs!
But don’t worry all you guys who think Mister isn’t on board with the baby. He is. Crissy just used the words “dead set against” for dramatic effect. Mister and Crissy are usually on the same page with most things but just don’t talk about Replacement Windows, Heating Bills, or Buying Crissy a BMW and we will not have to get the Five-O involved again.
And it’s not just you guys who have been thinking about Crissy. Oh no, no. The emails have been thinking about Crissy and Mister too and they are clearly trying to help them make Sexy Time by sending Crissy’s many suggestions for some very filthy porn to help get Crissy in the mood for some hardcore action.
For example, in the past week Crissy has received the following thoughtful emails:
Warm up your left hand. Get the tissues ready (okay maybe this one is for Mister to do some practice drills)
I know what girls do on a FARM. Do not leave them there lonely.
Does your better half bore you to death? Cheer up!
Schoolgirl aquaintence dwarf
Girls will call you Largissimo!
Huge dick trannies scream orgasm
*SPAM* Blonde Chick Sucking Horse Cock
Do you care about her satisfaction?
Big stiff doggie cock in hot girl tight asshole
She will want to spend a night with you, buddy
Anything you deisre
I am thunderstruck what can people do with females
Huge cock shemales
Wild freaky action in the stable
And Crissy has never seen a huge cock shemale so she clicked on it just for shits and giggles and she found something that she does not understand and she’d show you but the picture was too big and would get you fired for sure so she’ll show you this other thing she found.
Crissy is slightly horrified that this hot chick young blonde girl slut looks a little bit like her and so now she has vowed to stay off the booze and the pills because who knows?
Maybe it is Crissy.
Crissy does not always remember her “adventures.”
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September 11th, 2008 at 7:39 AM
Now, how much money does one make sleeping with horses? I feel like it can’t be THAT much more than sleeping with like 14 men at once. I mean, what is a beastiality bonus these days? Curious minds want to know for future financial planning.
September 11th, 2008 at 8:21 AM
Well, that would explain a lot. I mean, if you’ve been sleeping with a horse. Or even an animal hung like one. No wonder you’ve gotten a little bored in the bedroom with Mister. heheheh.
September 11th, 2008 at 8:34 AM
My stupid work Internets will not let me view the picture, so it must be a very interesting picture (and now I can’t wait to get home and view it).
I’ll be the first to admit that your potential uterine inhabitants are of interest primarily because since I found your lovely page, I now wake up in the morning and run to my computer to see your latest post… so if something might impact my daily dose of Crissy, I have an interest.
I’d be interested to know what Girlfriend has to say about any potential additions to the household.
September 11th, 2008 at 9:15 AM
I can’t understand how a woman has sex with a horse….picturing it makes my brain hurt….and my stomach lurch
September 11th, 2008 at 9:22 AM
So THAT’S where all my spam mail has been going! I thought there was a drop in my mailbox.
September 11th, 2008 at 9:48 AM
Ben- I’m wondering that myself. I don’t think there’s enough money in the world to make me fuck a horse or a dog or a cow or anything with 4 legs and a tail.
Nilsa- It also explains why I have so much trouble walking in the morning…
Adminerella- I can’t see it from work either. It’s not that exciting anyway. I will make sure that the baby does not impact your daily Crissy. It’s possible to type and nurse at the same time…I think. Girlfriend is begging for a baby brother. She has no idea what that means though.
Rachel M- I know, right. I think for me it would pretty much be a rock bottom moment.
Marie- I’ll be more than happy to forward it along to you.
September 11th, 2008 at 9:54 AM
She does look a little like you, you’re much prettier, though and I dare say, not as much of a horse lover as her.
September 11th, 2008 at 10:08 AM
Lynne-Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!! My kid loves horses. Should I be concerned?
September 11th, 2008 at 10:19 AM
PLEASE tell me that the link you initially clicked didn’t have to do with beastiality
because EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
::VOM::
September 11th, 2008 at 10:36 AM
Crissy, the email I send to you is PRIVATE and not for posting on your blog.
September 11th, 2008 at 10:45 AM
deutlich- EW! No. It was on the same site as the huge cock shemales.
Melissa- Oh? Shit. I’m sooooo sorry! I didn’t realize.
September 11th, 2008 at 11:24 AM
I can’t see that picture! Damn you computer! Damn you to hell!!!!!
September 11th, 2008 at 11:52 AM
here’s a copy of the pic for those who can’t see it:
September 11th, 2008 at 11:57 AM
Well, I know from experience that you can pump and type at the same time (worked overnight shift alone when I was at that point and so sometimes had to do the multitasking because I could not take breaks). Maybe you can buy Mister one of those breastfeeding simulator things to be able to blog…
I think Girlfriend is safe liking horses… but start to wonder if she tells you she only likes BOY horses.
Does Girlfriend realize that the requested baby brother cannot be returned for a full refund when she’s done with him? *giggle
September 11th, 2008 at 12:01 PM
Chris- Wait! Come back! Look at Kenny’s comment!
Neth- That’s NOT FUNNY!!!! Well, maybe a little bit…
Adminerella- Yeah. Pumping is not too hard to do. She doesn’t have a clue that her status of Princess of Fucking Everything would change drastically with the addition of a baby brother. She’d probably try to put him out with the trash.
September 11th, 2008 at 12:07 PM
I just learned yesterday about horse penises. The surgeon I work for was laughing his ass off. I thought he was kidding. Then he started showing me pictures, and I got a little pain on my insidies.
September 11th, 2008 at 12:13 PM
i think you need to go give your inbox a hot shower after all those emails.
dirty little inbox.
September 11th, 2008 at 12:14 PM
Ken - you are awesome.
September 11th, 2008 at 12:24 PM
k8- Wait. What about them? I don’t know a thing about them either. They’re huge, right? That’s all I know.
Alexa- A hot shower and a spanking should do it.
Chris- He would certainly agree with you.
September 11th, 2008 at 1:30 PM
Super huge. Like baseball bat huge. *shudders* and if you’re handing out spankings, I’m in.
September 11th, 2008 at 1:34 PM
The library computer is now virus filled. Or awesome filled if thats your thing
September 11th, 2008 at 1:50 PM
flickr rules
September 11th, 2008 at 1:53 PM
Oh I…well…I…um…*blushing*…um…oh my goodness, where has the time gone?
Excuse me.
*runs away*
September 11th, 2008 at 2:03 PM
Where was all this action when I was growing up on a farm??? No hot blondes…just me and the sheep.
September 11th, 2008 at 2:19 PM
Wow. Now my boss *knows* I’m not working.
September 11th, 2008 at 2:47 PM
I’m thinking you can solve two problems at once here. If you get Girlfriend a pony, she will do the dancing classes.
Meanwhile, you can use the pony to make lots of internet movie money!
More horsefucking, please.
September 11th, 2008 at 3:15 PM
wouldn’t you rather see pigfucking, stoogepie?
September 11th, 2008 at 3:37 PM
@Crissy’s Pimp: I would love to see some pigfucking! And keep in mind that I would be willing to pay for the privilege.
Also, while I am happy to report that the internet is full of dogfucking and horsefucking, I have not come across any pigfucking at all. I think you may have stumbled across a goldmine!
September 11th, 2008 at 3:41 PM
OH, glad somebody was around to record the “adventures.” Let me know next time you are going out on one and I’ll bring the cameras along (and some Tequila)
September 11th, 2008 at 5:31 PM
I’m so disturbed. I think the horse is disturbed too - he looks scared.
On another note, a couple years ago a man near Seattle died after having sex with horse…I shouldn’t laugh about it, but I do because I am evil. http://www.news24.com/News24/World/News/0,,2-10-1462_1739698,00.html
September 11th, 2008 at 5:48 PM
http://librarygarden.blogspot.com/2006/10/naughty-librarian-for-halloween_13.html
September 11th, 2008 at 7:33 PM
From My Little Pony to this.
They grow up so fast . . .
September 11th, 2008 at 8:53 PM
MegKathleen is my new hero. I haven’t laughed so hard since my friend Lynn and I discovered “neuticles” from the vet that felt badly for the cat’s psyches that he neutered. He implanted fake testicles….I’m gonna go read it again.