So we’re going on a little mini vaycay tomorrow.
We’re going here with Girlfriend and the neighbors.
I haven’t been since I was a wee little Crissy so it should be really fun.
My parents always took us to places like that all summer long because my dad was a teacher, and we didn’t have a lot of money so we did mostly New Englandy educational day trips to like Plimoth Plantation where I decided that when I grew up I wanted to be a Pilgrim. Real. Bad. I still sort of do. Except they smell.
One place we never went was here:
No. You don’t need glasses.
That’s Water Wizz.
As in Water Park O’ Piss.
And the theme song:
Come on in-to Wa-ter Wizz.
Wet and Wild, Wa-ter Wizz.
This is where the par-ty is!
It just sounds like a place where you can get a darn fine golden shower.
Either the park owners have a sense of humor and irony or they’re totally fucking stupid. Even their mascot looks like he’s about to splash into a pool of urine. He also looks like he’s on the junk.
And my parents, thank sweet baby jeebus, could not bear the thought of bringing their youngins to play around in urine.
Look! This kid is grossed. out. “It burns! Mom! Something is burning my ass!”
This is fun as long as you don’t let any body parts touch the “water.”
“Ahhhhh….I just made a big, big pee-pee!”
“Mommy? Is it safe to come out yet? Is the pee-pee gone?”
“EW! EW! EW! EW! EW!”
So we won’t be stopping there on the way home. Not even to pee.
Anybum, I’ve got some friends lined up for you for the next two days so behave yourselves and be polite.
Actually, that won’t be necessary. They’re two of my least well behaved bloggy buddies. That’s why I chose them. It’s summertime and the livin’s easy.
Tomorrow you’ll hear from the brilliant, the amazing, the hot and sexy stoogepie!
On Friday there’s the beauteous, the hilarious, the large breasted and hopefully knocked up Mom in Real LIfe!
I’ll miss you!