Crissy

UGH.

Mister was very sweet to fill in for me on Friday wasn’t he? Sometimes Crissy gets tired because being the QOFE is exhausting, really and she needs someone to help out around this place. I make it look easy, but swinging jokes around like Holyfield swings punches is hard work.

See? That’s us together this summer.

As it turns out though, it wasn’t the jokes that made Crissy tired. She was coming down with a tumor.

And also her superpower.

Okay, well maybe it’s not a tumor, but it’s definitely Typhoid Fever Bird Flu Monkey Plague Superpower though.

Girlfriend must have brought some germs home from the dirty little mutants at preschool and it made Crissy die to death all weekend.

And she’s still dying to death.

Everything hurts.
Even my hair.


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30 Responses to “Crissy is Mad Sick, Yo”
  1. Rachel Says:

    Good Morning my sweet Crissy! I hope that you feel better soon! You look so pitiful…I wish I could bring you some soup…

  2. Crissy Says:

    Rach- Don’t worry. The good people at Campbell’s have done it for you. And they’re so sweet. They even added extra sodium!

  3. Lynne Says:

    Awwww…. I feel so bad for….. MYSELF - I have to go to work without you today?????? WTF???? No, seriously, feel better! Also, I love the shoes. And the sheets. And the comforter. Can I come cuddle with you?

  4. Essentially Me Says:

    Holy just listening to you hurt my insides!

    Feel better soon!

  5. Nilsa S. Says:

    Awwww, you play a really good rendition of a sick Crissy. You deserve an Emmy or Oscar or something. But, glad to hear you’re taking a sick day, too. We sickos really need to be good to our bodies to get them back to being strong. Be good to you.

  6. crissy Says:

    Lynne- I’m here for a little while. I brought you cupcakes.

    Essentially- Mine too.

    Nilsa- Oh, I’m not faking it sista! I’ve got the snotty tissues to prove it.

  7. Rachel M. Says:

    Seeee, my husband would love it if I lost my voice like that. He has a thing for sick/phone sex voices.

  8. Crissy Says:

    Rachel M.- Have him call me!

  9. Marie Says:

    Awwwwwww!! Poor Crissy! Get better soon!

  10. Stealthnerd Says:

    Oh man…I’ve been there! It’s bad enough to have the Superpower, but don’t add Typhoid Fever Bird Flu Monkey Plague to it! That’s just wrong! I mean, you can’t even lie there in peace (and by peace I mean wishing your uterus would stop ripping itself apart and by wishing I mean screaming it at the top of your lungs), no, you’ve got to pause and blow your nose too! THAT IS JUST WRONG!

    I hope you feel better!!

  11. Matt Says:

    Get better soon Crissy…

    and hopefully your hair doesn’t fall out.

    That would be sad.

  12. Maxie Says:

    just drink. a shot makes you feel hot… I’m trying to think of a good rationalization for drinking.

  13. melissa lion Says:

    That was so sad. Feel better Crissy!

  14. Dingo Says:

    You know, after all you’ve done for Butterfly Barbie, you’d think the bitch would pitch in in a pinch. But no, she’s probably at your desk at work right now, looking up porn and ordering a new Barbie cruise ship or something.

    Feel better soon. If your hair falls out, Girlfriend and her friends can always use Sharpies to draw you new hair.

  15. Shelly Says:

    I keep trying to comment and it won’t let me.

    crap.

  16. stoogepie Says:

    Oh, Crissy, I’m sorry you’re sick! Having your superpower at the same time is just icing on the cake. Except, in this case, the icing is all bloody and clotted.

    Nose spray rocks, just like all the other things that you stick up your nose.

    Anyways, feel better, yo. Because I said so.

  17. Megkathleen Says:

    Awww! Poor Crissy. I hope you feel better soon so you can show your hot shoes off to the whole world.

  18. The Movie Whore Says:

    Poor baby. Get better soon.

  19. arielle Says:

    I am with you. I have already used an entire roll of toilet paper blowing my nose and it’s only three. Also, my nose hurts because you’re not supposed to use toilet paper to blow your nose.

  20. Rachel M. Says:

    no no no no, you stay away from my hubby!!! I’ve spent the day beating all of the female internet back with a stick after his Sunday post!

  21. Nell Says:

    The next time I have The Plague, I’m going to insist that your list of OTC prescriptions are brought to my bedside, and I will also need for my sick bed to be surrounded by netting and lit from the back. I will be Sick a la Crissy.

  22. Shelly Says:

    okay, I’ll try AGAIN….I got my SUPERPOWER this weekend too….that is why I took such care to use latex GLOVES while choppping the habanero peppers that Mr. Perfectly likes in his salsa…….no habanero juice in the lady bits.

    I’m…..let’s see…..SICK TOO….yeah….sick. That’s what they call it….sick. Call me…we’ll compare notes.

  23. Adminderella Says:

    Feel better soon, Crissy.
    Superpower + SARS/Bird Flu/Black Plague, etc. = no fun
    And you must be sick, cuz I can’t even IMAGINE Crissy leaving a party early!

  24. Kiala Says:

    Your bob is prolly right about the dasal spray.

    Get well soon!

    Wait! OMG! That book is sooooo good. Two words.

    ANAL SEX.

  25. nonsequiturchica Says:

    Feel better!!!!!

  26. Jamie Says:

    Poor Chrissy. I hope youre feeling better now!

  27. Meagan Says:

    Chrissy - I’m so sorry you’re sick. But even in the face of death, you spout out humor like nobody else.

    Also, I really hope Girlfriend will get what’s coming to her after bringing that home!!!

  28. Chris Says:

    No way.

    You didn’t post today!

    I’m coming to your house and making sure you’re okay.

    I’ll bring vodka. Well, it’ll be half a bottle by the time I get there, but it’s the thought that counts.

  29. rs27 Says:

    I’m pretty sure this is how Blair Witch started.

  30. Rachael Says:

    I have bad news. Girlfriend will continue to bring home nasty germs cuz the only thing our little petri dishes share is microbes. This will happen until she is through high school but less and less often as she goes up in grades.

    My sympathies.

    As a side note, I thought all parties began when you got there and ended when you left? Did someone forget to send me a memo?

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