well, first off, realize that this is NOT crissy posting today.
no, you weren’t warned that there would be a guest poster.
no, crissy is not dead in some kind of freak accident.
nor is she in jail, as some might be wondering.
she is just feeling burned out.
i can’t say that i blame her–i have no idea how she comes up with something new to post about every single day. occasionally (like today) it actually causes her stress, which is kind of ironic.
only americans can turn hobbies into sources of stress…
anywho, she was just about ready to just not post anything. and that’s fine–i think every once in a while it’s probably good to take a step back and breathe a little and forget about the crazy internet world.
well, for a few minutes at least. i’ve got a blackberry.
but then i figured i’d put SOMETHING up here instead of just leaving the tens of people wondering WTF happened.
my wife and i have had a lot of fun making videos, some of which are lost in the archives, probably never to be seen again. i thought that would be a shame (especially of the ones where she’s shaking that sweet milfy ass of hers) so i figured i’d do something about it: i went back and tagged the posts which had homemade video content. because of my hard work and l33t hax0r 5|<1llz, you can see them all by simply clicking here: http://crissyspage.com/tag/video.
for the epically lazy, you can also go straight to the vids (all hosted on youtube) by following this link: http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=ride5000
although if you do that you won’t get some of the lovely, carefully crafted backstory behind each vid, and i shall frown disapprovingly at you. maybe repeatedly. and i shall think to myself, “what a pussy.” and then i’ll fart into my cupped hand and quickly move it right to your face so you really get a sense of who i am…
a giver.
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There’s nothing like the “cup o’ cheese” to let someone know you care.
Good job Ken!
[...] yep, you read that right. i’m selflessly guesting at my wife’s page, because it’s just who I am… [...]
from what i’ve seen crissy’s videos are pretty hilarious.
and every needs a little break from blogging once and a while… i sure as hell know that feeling.
The cupped fart reference made me vomit in my mouth. Probably because I’ve been dutch-ovened more times than I’d like to admit.
If that’s what you do to the lazy, I can only imagine what you’re gonna do with the likes of me. The stubborn one who refuses to view any of the videos.
Because I have a job. And might get fired if I was caught watching your naughtiness in the office.
rach: “cup o cheese,” eh? that’s one i haven’t heard before.
maxie: on behalf of the production crew, we appreciate your feedback. who knew blogging was so much work??
ben: while extraordinarily effective, the dutch oven (aka log cabin) requires some sort of enclosing membrane, which may or may not be available “in the field.”
the hand, of course, is always available.
you have a stay of execution, nilsa.
just until you get home though.
Is “burned out” a euphemism for “on a bender”? Oh, I know! She’s went to do a presentation of pole dancing while holding a glass of wine at Chesty La Splits Go-Go Lounge, right? That’s it and you just can’t tell us because stick in the mud library system doesn’t want their sexy librarians moonlighting. That Crissy. She is a woman of many talents.
There’s nothing more I want to do but to watch those videos, but for some unknown reason my workplace frowns upon me watching naughty videos online.
Make sure Ms. Crissy has a great and relaxing weekend! And let her know it’s all well and good to take a break, no matter how long from the internet.
You are a good man, I am trying to get Dan to guest post on Sunday and you would think that I told him that I needed to put paper clips on his balls.
Good hubby, good.
I ignore the internets for three days and it’s all gone sideways. Suddenly this is a boy’s blog and there is stuff about football and Mariah Carey’s beauty and how leggings are the same as tights. GOD, WHAT HAPPENED HERE?
That’s what this post was about, right?
I am epically lazy…
so I want to thank you for making my life easier.
dingo: the problem with the benders is that they inevitably involve lots of alcohol. lots of alcohol means lots of calories. lots of calories means numbers that go UP on the scale instead of DOWN. in turn, that leads to more stress. more stress, plus hangziety, leads to me hiding, cloistered away in whatever man-cave i can carve out until the storm passes over.
fucking benders–they always have to end so poorly.
i did tell her last night that she could make a lot of extra money stripping. her look did not seem amused, despite the veracity of my statement.
marie: do what i do and face your desk to the door. that way no one can sneak up behind you and see what you’re doing. also, look into this:
http://www.softpedia.com/get/Internet/Browsers/Ghostzilla.shtml
^^^ that’s good shit right there.
rachel m: tell him this is his big chance to get on a soapbox and lavish accolades on his wonderful, hot wife, who has hoards of admirers. people across the globe want to be HIM, and this is his shot to bask in it.
hell, that’s the only reason i’m here.
melion: there’s no boys blog here. football is NOT on my list of priorities… that list contains 1) fucking my wife, 2) getting my home music recording/practice studio back up and going, 3) taking ever better pictures, 4) raising my daughter, 5) improving my house and yard, 6) taking care of my friends and family.
mariah carey is hot in that beautiful disaster kind of way, though.
and i hate to tell you this, but leggings are NOT the same as tights.
Man you did Kristen proud with this. My favorite part is the end, where you reveal your true self – a giver of farts.
You sir, have done well for yourself when you can say that.
So nice of you to give Crissy the day off. Running a blog sometimes feels like raising puppies. You love them and all, but sometimes you wish you could just stay out late and sleep in in the morning and not clean up a room full of dirty newspapers. Or something. In my head, the metaphor totally works. Try fostering a litter of puppies and see if it feels like that to you.
I know how she feels; blogging made me nuts! I needed to unplug very badly (the reason my blog no longer exists!). Nice of you to fill in; maybe she should establish “Pimp My Friday”, where you guest post every Friday!
I like to call these “personal days” or “mental health days”. If your boss is a good employer, they will offer these to you regularly.
I am the BEST employer. I’ve already taken 42 personal days this month.
Dude, WTF? You guest blog on Crissy’s page and don’t include any pictures at all that would increase her anxiety and my arousal. And you call yourself a giver?
You did a damn good job nonetheless. You do indeed have l33t hax0r 5|<1llz.
As lazy as I am, love the vids. There are more than I remember!
Haha, after reading this post, I’m convinced you two are PERFECT for one another. And I’m totally checking out the videos. Hopefully my boss won’t mind.
Wait who wrote this then? I demand answers. Is there some kind of ghost of blogs past?