Yo yo! Zup zup? Stoogepie here.
When Crissy asked me to guest blog for her, I knew that the overdose of smack that had inspired the invitation would probably kill her within the hour. But I accepted anyway, because that’s how I play.
And when I accepted, I had no idea what I should write about. And I still don’t, even as I write this thirty seconds before I will post it. See, I realize that I have to tone things down a bit, because I say things in my own blog that would upset the tender sensibilities of Crissy’s broader and altogether more discriminating audience. So, for instance, I decided that I would not write this guest post on any of the following topics:
- Rimming: Why women’s excuses for not wanting to suck your ass really don’t hold water.
- The Sexy Side of Emphysema: That throat-hole is not just for breathing.
- Recipes: What to do with the food that sticks to your hand during anal fisting.
- Coma Victims: Does she want you or is she just incontinent?
- Buying your first home: a guide for registered sex offenders.
I’m not saying that Crissy avoids weighty issues such as these, but she is able to deal with them more tactfully than I, owing largely to the fact that she does not draw pictures of every fucking thing that pops into her head. And her writing is much more subtle. Almost all of my blog entries begin with a question. It’s always something like: “Is it just my imagination or are all the chicks in the burn ward easy?” And then I answer that question, complete with drawings and recipes for accelerants.
All that I’m saying is that Crissy is a hard act for me to follow.
But, follow her I must. So, I will follow in her footsteps completely and write about her life. Yes, I am going to tell you what Crissy’s day is like. Today. When she can’t.
Okay, so here goes. Crissy and Ken take Girlfriend to Story Land. Here is what will happen shortly after they arrive.
Later that day, they will go to eat lunch.
Finally, after a long day, even by Story Land standards, they will prepare to leave.
That’s all I have to say about Crissy’s day.
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August 7th, 2008 at 4:40 am
The day has finally come when I have read about rimming before I’ve had my breakfast. I don’t know whether to celebrate or mourn.
August 7th, 2008 at 7:08 am
Wow. I am reminded of an ancient publication titled, “Answer Me!” It is right up your alley, so to speak.
August 7th, 2008 at 7:14 am
That was hilarious! Very creative guest post!
August 7th, 2008 at 7:15 am
I hope that is an accurate interpretation of what she wore. LOL
August 7th, 2008 at 7:58 am
Hey, Ken looks like Mr. Shorts in that first frame! Yeah, Mr. Shorts! Yeah, Ken!
P.S. That Gingerbread Man is creepy. I’m going to have nightmares.
August 7th, 2008 at 8:06 am
wait, you gave her art in your guest post?! How am I supposed to follow that!!!!!
August 7th, 2008 at 8:40 am
Ben- I have waited a long time for this day! Does that means you read about anal fisting often before breakfast?
Essentially- Thanks!
Maxie- So. Do. I! And I hope she posts pictures!
Dingo- I have always thought that Ken looks like Mr. Shorts. With a better haircut. And I suspect he thinks like Mr. Shorts, too. Also, nightmares are what I aim for.
Mom In Real Life- Where do you see art?
August 7th, 2008 at 9:02 am
No fair! You raised all those questions without one morsel of response? You’re one big tease. I think you need to guest post your way out of this one. Come back. Answer the questions you’ve raised through Crissy’s eyes. In pictures, of course.
August 7th, 2008 at 9:24 am
So can we read about rimming over at your blog then?
August 7th, 2008 at 9:31 am
That comic is fantastic! I hope that actually happened.
August 7th, 2008 at 9:49 am
I laughed so hard at the dead gingerbread babies…still laughing…
I really hope Crissy wore that out to storyland - that would be fantastic!
August 7th, 2008 at 10:18 am
I think that’s the only way the Ginger Bread Man could make it through his life, with booze and blunts.
Nice post man!
August 7th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Nilsa- I would so love to guest post again! And I think I know just how Crissy would answer those questions, too!
Matt- Oh yes. My blog is like rimjob central.
Lauren- I’m betting Crissy is thinking right this second about how uncanny my predictions were!
Alice- And I’m hoping for photographs! I was too lazy to draw a camera in Ken’s hand, but you know he has one!
Chris- Oh, the life of the Gingerbread Man at Story Land. Now, he should have a blog!
August 7th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Sorry Mr. Stoogepie, but I predict that Crissy might not ask you over here any more (but I think I’ll put your blog on my regular read list). Should have had an ‘adult subject matter warning’, but then you’d get a lot more readers.
Thanks for inviting people over Crissy (I think)
August 7th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
I’m disappointed you didn’t do the recipes post. That is a problem that plagues me every day.
August 7th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
I cannot top Ben’s comment so I shant try.
I like gingerbread cookies
August 7th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
God, what is up with Ken and all that asslick business?
August 7th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
JoeInVegas- Oh, and I really did restrain myself here! My site is so much more adult — or juvenile, depending on your perspective. Still, if I don’t hear from anyone’s attorney, it’s a fine day.
Meg- Me too! You’ll love the creamed corn!
rs27- I don’t think I can top Ben’s comment, either. And, yes, gingerbread is yum!
Melissa- I know! It’s almost all he ever talks about!
August 8th, 2008 at 6:51 am
Poor gingerbread babies. They are delicious, though.
October 23rd, 2008 at 4:38 pm
what can i say? i’m a dirty bastard.