Remember when I had to put on a strap on to have a sword fight with Mister over having our windows replaced because they were threatening to lead poison Girlfriend and give her The Retardation?
You’ve been paying attention, haven’t you?
Well our application for an interest free loan from the state is finally complete (can I get an amen?) and I spent an entire day running around gathering last minute documents and making photocopies and going to the post office. When it was all said and done I mailed off 35 pages of fucking crap to the state. They about needed the results of my last pap smear and a colonoscopy film, but I got it all Internet.
And then on Thursday they called me at work. The woman on the phone was confused…
“Crissy, this is Rosemary at RI Housing. I have a question regarding your pay stubs.”
“Well, I’m just confused about why your paycheck is so…small.”
“Well I work in a library…”
“Yes, I see that, but for how many hours?”
“20 per week.”
“And you get paid bi-weekly?”
“Oh. Ok…But still…”
“I know, right?”
“Okay then. shuffles papers nervously in the background and takes a sip of her coffee. Er…thanks for your time. I’ll keep working on this and I’ll call you if there’s anything else.”
“You have a nice day now. I’m sorry again about the paycheck.”
“Me too. You see why we need the loan?”
“I’d also like some money to build a deck out back and I want a new refrigerator because ours sucks and OH! Rosemary! I’m going to need new clothes for fall because I’m getting fatter by the second and my shit from last year is just like a hell to the N-O. Anything you can do about that there Sugar Shorts?”
“Ha, ha, ha, ha…Bye.”
The bitch hung up on me!
But I think we’ve got that loan in the bag.
They may even throw in a little extra for food.