That’s really nothing new.
Your Crissy worries herself to death. Actually, to drink, but whatever.
Today I am worried because:
I have eleventy million things going on right now and I’m really, really stressed out. I don’t know how I am going to do it all.
We have a billion things that need to be done to this house to get it ready for winter and we have zero billion monies with which to do them.
I’m really very upset because Girlfriend starts preschool summer camp on Monday and it’s the first time she’s ever been left with strangers and so I’m freaking the fuck out and every time I think about it I start to fucking cry.
My daughter has been very aggressive with her bff Alena and yesterday she threw a ball at her face and gave her a bloody nose. I’m beside myself with worry about whether Girlfriend’s evil behavior is because she’s actually a little fire-monster or if she’s acting out for some reason or if she’s really that under socialized that she thinks it’s cool to beat on her friends. And what will happen to her in preschool?
I have four parties to go to this weekend and I don’t know how I’m going to get through it all because I’m so tired I’m slurring my words and that’s without vodka.
I have to work on Saturday which pisses me off to no end. People should never be forced to work on Saturdays. It’s just cruel!
Will my husband ever put the toilet paper on right? He does it under. UNDER! Can you imagine? It goes OVER! Anything else is just sheer lunacy.
I’d really like to get laid but by the time I get to bed I just pass out. Clitoris be damned.
I’m too busy/tired to even rub one out.
I swear if I see a neighbor out of doors I’m going to wind up running out there and humping his leg in the middle of the afternoon because Mister is still at work. Which neighbor, it matters not. I’ll even take the big guy. I bet his leg would feel like fluffy pillows…
And if those Jehovah boys come to my door again today I’m going to make men out of them for sure.
I don’t know Internet.
I need some sex and I need about six of these and I’ll be right as rain, an expression I do not understand:
I’ll be home all day Internet.
Bring it all.
- Ask Girlfriend 2.0
- Get Out of My Way or I’ll Totally Kill You
- Welcome to my Anxiety Disorder. Pull up a chair and put 911 on speed dial.
- The only thing funnier than midget porn is midget ZOMBIE porn