Makes 2 dozen delightful moist and chewy cookies.
1/2 cup raspberry preserves
1 cup sugar
1/3 cup canola oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp almond extract
1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp unsweetened coco powder
1 1/2 cup all purpose flour
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
Preheat over to 350. Lightly spray cookie sheet with pam.
Stir together raspberry shit, sugar, oil, vanilla, & almond extract.
In a separate bowl, sift together the dry ingredients and dump into the wet stuff. Do it in stages. Dump, stir, dump, stir, dump, stir, just like that. See? And then stir until combined and then roll the dough into walnut-sized balls and then flatten them with your palms. I hope you washed your hands before you started this project. Place on the cookie sheet and bake those fuckers for like 10 minutes. They don’t spread out when they’re baked so don’t panic. When you take them out, let them cool for 5 minutes before you transfer them to a rack to cool the rest of the way. I cannot recommend using a dish towel as a pot holder like I did because I burned my finger a little bit. So don’t be a lazy douchewad. Use the potholder. That’s why God made them.
And you’re done!
And for the love of all that is decent and holy in this world, do not put whipped cream on them or else the vegan mafia will come and beat your ass with whips made of hemp.