Yesterday was my unpaid domestic labor day, which means that I don’t report to a job I actually get paid for.
And so I did my chores and errands and took Girlfriend for a walk to my Grandfather’s house to go and use the pool. Usually it’s a really pleasant walk because there are some beautiful old houses in my neighborhood and I love nothing more than trying to look inside to see if there’s anyone naked in there how it’s decorated. On the way there we passed another pedestrian and I said “good afternoon” and the fucking woman didn’t say “good afternoon” back. She just looked at me and decided not to!
Be a cunt.
I don’t care.
And then about a minute later, I reached the crosswalk I had to use to get to Papa’s house. It’s a busy street, but around here, and I don’t know if this is a universal law or whatever because I was totally drunk the day we covered that in driver’s ed, you have to STOP when a pedestrian enters the crosswalk.
So I stood there for fucking ever IN THE CROSSWALK, with the baby stroller and the dog and it was just like
As car after car totally ignored the stroller in the crosswalk. And we were hanging out there in danger of being hit until a woman I have seen at the park a few times before stopped for me and waited very patiently as we stood in the middle of the crosswalk in front of her car as cars coming the opposite direction still kept zooming past.
Nobody even slowed down.
I finally got across because there were no other cars coming. She yelled out her window “I can’t believe no one stopped for you!” And I was like “I know it!” and that was that.
Internet, I would like to know WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH PEOPLE???
Do I need to show a little more leg next time I want to cross the street?
It’s always like this around here. My mother is blind and uses a cane so it’s pretty damn obvious that she can’t see but when she tries to cross the street, people honk and YELL AT HER! They don’t stop, they don’t slow down, they abuse her. And my step mom fell while walking her dog and nobody stopped to help her. She was on the ground for 20 minutes crying for help and people just slowed down to stare at her. A 90 year old woman finally noticed her and came out of her house to help her. And nobody stops to let little old ladies cross the street except me. I always stop for the grannies. It’s called being decent.
So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to install one of these in my car
And any time I see some crazy fucktard douchebag asshat I’m gonna burn the motherfucker.
HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Any other ideas?
I’m on a fucking crusade bitches.