Comments on: Crissyshack

By: Alice + Frank: A Love Story | Crissy

Alice + Frank: A Love Story | Crissy — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 09:59:57 +0000

[...] And if you’re not familiar with Frank, click here. [...]

By: Jamie

Jamie — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:03:22 +0000

We once had this giant mole fat thing in my yard and then my neighbor poisoned it.

My neighbor was a bitch.

By: Morgetron

Morgetron — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 00:49:44 +0000

Your grandpa is cute. Tell him I said ’sup.

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 18:24:57 +0000

Kill the damn thing! And please tape it and post the video on here. You can title the post “Frank Fucking Dies.”

I smell Pulitzer!

By: Nilsa S.

Nilsa S. — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 18:14:18 +0000

Sweets’ dad had a similar problem with chipmunks - cousins to Alvin & the gang. And though their garden isn’t as lovely as yours, he was still pissed to find holes all over his yard.

So, he set up traps. Humane traps, as Sweets’ mom wouldn’t allow for anything other than that. And he waited.

Until the traps filled with the live critters. And before he drove them a few miles away to the nearest forest preserve (totally illegal to drop off animals there, mind you), he’s pepper-spray their bums with spray paint. You know, to mark them. In case they ever found their way back to his yard.

If you can’t kill ‘em, you might as well have a little fun with ‘em, eh?! Why not lace your sunflowers with hot sauce? See how the douchebags like them then!!!

By: Dingo

Dingo — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 17:52:06 +0000

At first I thought the picture was a beaver and you were writing some post about your vajayjay. But now that I know you are writing about a woodchuck, well, I just don’t have anything to say about that.

By: JoeInVegas

JoeInVegas — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 17:50:23 +0000

Despite all of the promises, there is nothing that will keep his sweet ass out of your garden if he wants to come by for lunch. The only way to get rid of him is, yes, to get rid of him. The live trap is the best way, so that you don’t end up killing your neighbor’s cats by mistake. If they get stuck in the live trap you can just let them go and nobody will know (they are usually too embarrassed to talk about it back at home). Once you get Frank you either 1) drown his butt or 2) drive him miles and miles away and let him eat somebody else’s garden (option 2 is illegal in most places as the new neighbors do not like it at all). If he has a family at home then you will never know, otherwise you will end up with a dozen of those guys coming by for dinner.
So, either resign yourself to letting it become Frank’s garden or get rid of the pest. I would vote for getting rid of him.

By: rs27

rs27 — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:37:40 +0000

Whenever I want woodchucks to leave me alone I put out a sign that says “Stop: Human Crossing” They like to obey laws.

By: Megkathleen

Megkathleen — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:30:52 +0000

Sorry - not peanut butter flavored marshmallows, but peanut butter covered marshmallows.

By: Megkathleen

Megkathleen — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:30:29 +0000

I don’t really know because I’m not really the gardening sort. But I do know how my grandpa got rid of the raccoons in his garden. He set traps and filled them with peanut butter marshmallows (apparently raccoons really like that) and then when he caught them I believe he then drowned them…or shot them. He never really went into the killing part when telling me (thank God), but they were definitely killed at some point.