Well, it’s been over a week since I became the greatest thing since sliced bread and saved a boy from drowning and still there’s nothing.
No news story,
Not even a mention in the weekly Police Blotter. Whatever that is.
No Queen of Fucking Everything,
No paparazzi chasing me and asking me personal questions about myself,
so I must say I’m disappointed in this town.
Apparently Schmuckytown USA is really Town Who Doesn’t Give a Rat’s Ass When People Almost Die in a Pond and Hot Mommy Bloggers Rescue Them Town.
But that’s okay.
Don’t cry for me Internet.
Well, okay. If you insist but it’s not necessary. Much.
(Yes it is.
I’m not hurt because I know what a good thing I did and that’s what really matters. Anything else is just gravy. I just wish I had known that they weren’t planning anything because I’ve been sitting in my window waiting for them for over a week now and my butt is stuck to the window sill just like that lady on the news who was stuck to her toilet for two years and I’m going to have to get it removed and I wonder if my call to 911 for that will get me a date with Officer Dreamy McHot the attention I so richly deserve.
Acts of extreme heroism and bravery?
Not so much around here.