Crissy

I need help from the Internet.

I have a problem and it’s been bothering me for a long time now and I thought I could handle it on my own but it turns out I can’t.

I think the name Crissy’s Page is really, really, fucking stupid.

I’ve always thought so but I didn’t care too much because I never thought anyone would read the blog anyway so whatever. I put zero thought into the name so when I started this thing where it said blog name or whatever I just typed Crissy’s Page in just as you would type the word “test” or “suck my ass” to make sure something works.

But now that a lot more people besides Rachel and Lynne and my mom are reading I feel rather embarrassed about it.

I mean seriously.

Crissy’s Page?

Crissy’s?

Page?

Comethefuckonnow!

Makes me look like a jackass.

The whole blog name angst started one day when I was having a conversation with Surviving Myself about blogging and then I said I hated the name of my blog and he said something to the effect of “thank god you said that because when I first saw it I thought seriously, that’s all she could come up with?’ and so we set out to find a new name and I bounced a few off him but nothing stuck.

And then I asked Rachel for her help because her blog name, Get Your Freak On is fucking great and she’s great at naming things but all we came up with was the “I’m sort of a big deal” tag line and also Atomic Blonde which Lynne liked too and that’s the best we have so far.

But I think we can do better because all of you on my blogroll and some of you who aren’t on there but I love anyway have great blog names.

Great ones!

I wish I had a neat little list to give you and you can just choose one, but I can’t even get that far. I’m having such issues and so I need you to use your creativity for good instead of evil and help me you guys. And there’s something in it for you because I know how this world works don’t you worry. You have until next Tuesday to either email me: crissy@crissyspage.com or put your suggested name in the comments section of this post. I will set up a way for people to vote on the names that I like for the following week and then the winner will get a T-shirt with the name on it. Either that or some underpants or something. Or maybe I’ll pay to have it tattooed on your ass. I haven’t decided yet.

And I don’t just want the other bloggers to help out. Nay nay, I’m also talking to you non-bloggers who are so sweet to read and comment, and also to you lurkers who never comment but I know you’re there people so don’t think you’re getting away with something because

I SEE YOU.

And please put some fucking clothes on, okay?

Maybe if you win a T-shirt you can wear it instead of nothing like you usually do.

God, I hope people participate in this because if they don’t I’m going to feel like a giant


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51 Responses to “Crissyspage Sucks!”
  1. Lynne Says:

    You’re talking to a person whose blog name is so long it doesn’t even fit on one line! I’ll try to help you out, although I must be an asshole because I don’t think Crissyspage is so bad. That’s how retarded I am.

  2. Crissy Says:

    Lynne- In The Rays of a Beautiful Sun is a great blog name! And you’re not retarded, you just have bad taste. ;)

  3. Leah Says:

    Umm… Have you seen the name of my blog? It’s about as original as bread.

    Yeah… I’m going to be of no help.

  4. Dingo Says:

    Wow, you’ve stumped me here. I’ll have to think of something jaw-dropping and come back later. Actually, I like the titles of some of your posts. I think they’d make great blog names. Then, there’s also Comeonethefucknow. That’s an eye catcher.

  5. Dingo Says:

    Oh, I just re-read it, it says comethefuckonnow. Now who looks like the jackass? Me. Anyhoodle, either one will have people stopping by your blog in droves.

  6. JoeInVegas Says:

    I vote for calling it Crissy’s Page. I like that. And it belongs to Crissy.

  7. Marie Says:

    Ok, this is super hard. Had the same problem with my blog name and well mine is pretty cheesy too. Hmmm…how about…ok I can’t seem to come up with anything but I’ll let you know if I do!

  8. Marie Says:

    Actually, I like your blog name. And love the tag line. But since you seem to be quite insistent on changing it, as Aaanold said, “I’ll be back!” with a suggestion.

  9. Crissy Says:

    Everyone- Really? You guys don’t think it’s bad? Ok, well maybe we’ll vote on keeping it the same too. What about calling it Crissyspage Sucks?

  10. Nilsa S. Says:

    I don’t think your blog name is that bad. Or that good. It just is what it is. YOUR blog. But, to give YOU a suggestion for your blog title? Talk about intimidating. Seriously! You’re always so funny and on the ball. And me, so terribly not. So, if I were to say , Beam Me Up, Girlfriend. Or My Life is Bigger than Yours. Or Legally Insane, Literally Living. Or any other silly little thought I might have. And suggest you use it for your title? Or tagline? Well, I’d be fooling myself that my little creativity is worthy of this blog. Which it most definitely isn’t.

  11. melissa lion Says:

    Three’s company
    Pure as the driven snow
    My husband watches a lot of porn
    The Playthrough

  12. chris Says:

    I like Atomic Blonde actually.

    Hmmm…

    What about “Blonded”

    I feel like an ass now that everyone says they like the name and I gave you this complex about it.

  13. Crissy Says:

    Nilsa- My Life is Bigger than yours is great! You’re funnier than you think you are.

    Melissa- I love Three’s Company. I’m already Crissy so it so works! I like using The Playthrough as part of the title…hmmm..

    Chris- So far Atomic Blond is my favorite. Blonded is great too. You didn’t give me a complex. It was already there.

  14. Kiala Says:

    I can’t think of anything. Thank God I don’t make my living with words.

    Shit.

  15. Crissy Says:

    Kiala- Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!

    That was the first time I laughed all day.

  16. The Movie Whore Says:

    Blonds have more fun

    The Crazy Librarian

    Naked Mash Potatoes

    There are a couple. Now go get your husband a steak and let him eat like a man. haha

  17. Megkathleen Says:

    You could name your blog after a laxative like I did!! Yep, I got nothing, but I’ll be thinking about it!

  18. rs27 Says:

    How about…

    Beef Johnson’s Circus.

    It works on a lot of levels.

  19. melissa lion Says:

    Oh, I am so close to the t-shirt. SO CLOSE.

  20. Lynne Says:

    Blonde and Dangerous
    Blonde All Over

  21. melissa lion Says:

    Crissy’s Playthrough

    Playthrough with Crissy

    GOD I WANT THE T-SHIRT!

  22. Lynne Says:

    Dirty Blonde

  23. Lauren Says:

    Um, my title is a line from a poem, so i’m not that creative, really. The titles of your posts are HILARIOUS–maybe one of those might work?

    (Ok, it took me about a month to come up with my title, clearly I’m not the best person to help here.) Good luck!

  24. Lynne Says:

    Barbie in Real Life

  25. Lynne Says:

    Can you tell I’m real busy at work today? How about something to do with Three’s Company - like Hers & Hers & His

  26. Crissy Says:

    Jim- Naked Mashed Potatoes is great although I’d rather roll around in that Raspberry thing you made. I’ll cook him a steak but I’m not gonna like it.

    Megkathleen- That was by accident. Golightly is an awesome name for a blog. It works so perfectly for you and I’m jealous I didn’t think of it.

    rs27-Bwahahahaha!!!! That’s AWESOME.

    Melissa- We’ll keep working on it. I want you to have the shirt. Or at least the ass tattoo.

    Lynne- LOVE THAT ONE. Dirty Blonde is in the running.

    Lauren- Half deserted streets is a beautiful blog name. I love it.

  27. stoogepie Says:

    I’m with the folks who like Crissy’s Page. And, unfortunately, stoogepie is already taken as a blog name.

    That said, I like your tagline as a title: sort of a big deal would be a cool name for your blog.

    I also like your category names. In particular, Crissylicious and Genius Wasted. Your posts also have cool titles. Worship Me If You Must would be a great name.

    You know me well enough to know that you do not want my suggestions. But here goes my short list anyways:

    1. Gangsta Blonde
    2. Crissyxcore
    3. Mommy Porn
    4. Crissy’s Money Shot
    5. You’re So Into Me
    6. Double-Jointed Vagina (yes, that’s my personal favorite)

    That’s all I got but, hell, I have a week.

  28. Geekybiker Says:

    Nothing wrong with the domain, and you already have readership here. Even if you move it, you’ll have to maintain this domain forever now. I think you’re being hard on yourself with not coming up with a good name given the fantastic material you have here.

  29. SubieBoobie Says:

    You caught me. I’m the lurker. I tell Mr. Boobie all about your blog, so you have two internet fans. I don’t think the name is cheesy either. I like the “I’m sort of a big thing” tag line. I use it all the time. You know, “I’m Mom. I’m sort of a big thing”. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

    As for suggesting a new name, I’m clueless and not very creative. But I would like to voice my vote in this great election of sorts once you come to some final names. : )

  30. Rachel Says:

    Okay, now that everyone has had a turn, I’m winning the tee-shirt with the following:

    Life and Other Disasters

    Yeah, I know. Not that great.

    “I’m not sure if you know, but I’m sort of a big deal” was unfortunately my best work I am afraid.

    Dammit–WHY was stoogepie taken?!

    I told you that I like it the way it is…it’s so unassuming and unprecocious, then you read it and WHAM! you are subject to the brilliance of crissy.

    Love you and needing wine RIGHT THE F*(& NOW!

    ps–dirty blonde IS good. we love the double entendre’s (or however the f*(& you spell that) around here.

  31. lacochran Says:

    From your recent posts:

    Queen of Fucking Everything
    smelling like a gay hooker posse

    Then, again, if lots of hits is the primary goal, go with

    Free Money

  32. SubieBoobie Says:

    Oooo, “Queen of Fucking Everything” is good!!! I mean if meant figuratively, not literally.

  33. SatinBarbie Says:

    You said it yourself…”Comethefuckonnow”!

    ‘Nuff said!

  34. Stealthnerd Says:

    You know…I vote for “stuff that makes me awesome” (aka your heading about you…but, you knew that). I think that’s fitting b/c you are an awesome writer (oh ick, I’m turning toward the cheesy, sorry)thus what you write is the stuff that makes you awesome.

    But hey, that’s just me.

  35. arielle Says:

    I like dirty blonde.

    Your mom reads this? She must be very cool. This blog would be enough to give my mother a heart attack.

    If it were mine, I mean. She doesn’t care about you.

  36. melissa lion Says:

    The dirty blonde plays through.

    Please can I just have a t-shirt.

    Oh, I thought I was clear, I already got the tattoo of Ken’s ass on my ass. Sorry about the misunderstanding.

  37. Ashley Says:

    i think you need to give melissa a t-shirt.

    anything with naked in the title is bound to be a hit.

    but dirty blonde IS clever. (sorry melissa. she’s my mom)

  38. Lynne Says:

    Ashley is right. I’m getting that fucking t-shirt.

  39. Lynne Says:

    Kristen and Ashley have cool moms.

  40. melissa lion Says:

    Dammit. My kid’s too young to type.

  41. Quirkee James Says:

    Hmmm, what name would I suggest and also be proud to see on a t-shirt?

    How about: “Next Wet T-shirt Contest Winner”

    Too long? My first blog name was pretty lame so I don’t have much room to talk.

  42. M. Says:

    Count me in with the folks who say don’t change it. The name may have been lame to start, but now it has taken on the aura of your “brand,” the great stuff you write about, and so it isn’t lame any more. Remember what happened with New Coke? (Actually, if you MUST change it, “New Coke” wouldn’t be bad. And you’d get sued! Do I win the T-shirt?)
    -M. (former lurker)

  43. Crissy Says:

    @M.: New coke. Ha, ha, ha, ha! No t-shirt for you but you do win the chance to get “New Coke” tattooed on your ass. Yay!

  44. Crissy's Pimp Says:

    “Oh, I thought I was clear, I already got the tattoo of Ken’s ass on my ass. Sorry about the misunderstanding.”

    i demand pics. you know my email.

  45. Morgy Says:

    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

    I think I might be able to come up with some things for you.

    Let me get back to you.

  46. Rachael Says:

    I always thought that “Crissy’s Page” was whimsical and ironic at the same time. The title indicates a “cutesy” blog of the variety that you stumble across and never go back to, and yet your’s is the exact opposite of that. I has humor (both high and low) and insight. I would stick with “Crissy’s Page”. But, hey, that’s just me!

  47. raulmalo Says:

    i like queen of fucking everything. that is to the point.

  48. Jesse Says:

    Blonde Lightning! White lightning?

  49. The Underblawger Says:

    I kind of agree with Rachael. You have a very interesting blog and I like how the name stands in contrast to that. For example, Diablo Cody used to have a blog called “The Pussy Ranch.” The posts were great but, with a name like that, it’s kind of hard to live up. Like that time I rented “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.” Man, was that a let down.

  50. The Underblawger Says:

    Having said all that, “Dirty Blonde” is quite clever.

  51. Morgetron Says:

    Suggested Names

    * An Hour And Forty Five Minutes (of sleep)
    * Comedy Magic
    * Donkey Punching and More
    * Like No Other
    * The Local Hero (Give yourself credit, since no one else did.)
    * Cankles, My Ass
    * Chrissy’s Page (with an apostrophe)

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