I Can’t Live If Living Is Without You!

Sigh. She’s gone.

Crissy up and left me here alone. Well, not technically alone, but when you’re used to having someone at work you can bitch with, swear with and photograph eating snacks in the janitor’s closet, you cannot function normally when that person goes away.

And she up and went despite the fact that I DENIED her vacation request. The fact that I don’t have the authority to do that had no affect on her; she went anyway. Huh!!

So, the really bad news is that without her, I’m forced to do the unthinkable….. my WORK! To make matters worse, I am good at my job and I have managed to convince my boss that everything I do is hard and takes forever, when in fact they are ridiculously easy and take 2 seconds, which makes me ALL CAUGHT UP leaving me with the most loathsome part of my job, FILING!

I hate filing with the heat of a thousand suns.

First, it requires me to stand, which goes against my career goal of never having to get out of my chair.

Secondly, handling papers as we all know is extremely dangerous! I’m talking, of course, about paper cuts! My fingers are needed for blogging people and I can’t be cutting them up. I just can’t.

But, I must tell you, being the

that I am, I am extremely efficient at filing and have created the awesomest office filing system ever!

Check it out: First we have the personnel file:

I like to file them by their unique personalities, rather than names.

After all, it’s easier to remember people by how irritating they are, rather than remember names. Am I right? Here’s Kristen’s file:

in the back there, see it?

Then there’s the volunteer file:

Then I like to file the stuff for our bosses – The Board of Trustees or as I like to call them:

In this file you can easily find lots of important papers.

Also, we have the Policies and Procedures file!

That’s all about what we allow and what we don’t allow (we don’t allow way more than we allow)

Then there’s the budget file

I never go in there because as long as I keep getting my paycheck, I don’t care where the money comes from or how it is obtained! It apparently contains files about money we have and money we don’t yet have.

Either way, keep the paycheck coming and I’m happy.

Other papers simply belong in the big green bin.

And see how tidy my inbox is!!

Well, there are lots of papers hanging around so I better get a supply of bandaids and get to it!

I hope I can survive the rest of the week without my little Crissy. *sniff*

Words of sympathy are greatly appreciated.

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13 comments

  1. greetings guest blogger lynne!

    Nice inbox!

    I too must survive an entire week without Mister

    Funny thing is…our boss came in and asked ME if it was OK for him to leave…i didnt hesitate to say YES get him the flock out of here!

    now i can play whatever music i want and whenever i want to…i can play “Secret Agent (Asian)Man” ALL DAY LONG and not have him come turn of my speakers

    I think we should plan a nice practical joke when they return! What do you think?

  2. i enjoy your inbox label….i think i might have to put a little note above my mailbox that says something to that effect. maybe people will stop putting shit in there for me to do.

  3. I want to come to work with you. We can watch porn and eat chocolate and knit. Okay, maybe that’s just what I would do at your job. And make out with you and Crissy.

  4. Hi all! Thanks for the comments – feel free to use any of my filing methods as you see fit. It makes it much easier, don’t you think? And Kiala, it’s not a Dymo, it’s a Brother P-Touch 2710! The mother of all labelmakers!

  5. I need you to come and make labels for stuff in my office. Perhaps you can start with something about how to Replace The Fucking Water Jug When It’s Empty?

  6. Awwww shucks. You all are too kind. I do think perhaps I’m funnier over here. It must be the Crissy vibe. I was going to do a crazy-ass video of myself dancing but once you’ve seen Crissylicious, nothing else compares!

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