CBS can suck my dick.
I am hideously depressed because my most favoritest TV show has been cancelled.
What am I supposed to do on Friday nights without watching Moonlight and having fantasies, very, very naughty fantasies about being “turned” by vampire Hottie Mc Hot Hot Mick St. John?
I mean look at this dude!
Dark, brooding, HOT. AS. HELL.
And he’s a vampire.
Makes me get all gooshy inside and also a tad moist in the panty every time I think about him. My boss and I are about a heartbeat away from quitting work and stalking Alex O’ Loughlin, the guy who plays the role of Mick St. John, not that it matters what his name is in “real life” because I believe that Alex O’ Loughlin is really Mick St. John and not Alex O’ Loughlin at all and I know this because vampires are real.
I saw it on the tee-vee so it must be true.
And they live amongst us and live normal lives.
Well, except for the whole sleeping in a freezer and drinking blood thing.
And do you know what people are doing to protest the attempted murder of Mick St. John by the douchebags at CBS? They’re donating blood. This makes sense because Mick St. John is a good vampire and he doesn’t feed on people because he’s a humanitarian, really and he has respect for human life unlike naughty vampires who go around sucking people dry and GOD I’d give anything to be sucked dry by Mick St. John. Any. thing.
Where was I?
Oh, right. Mick gets his meals from the blood bank and sometimes the morgue, so it makes sense that legions of Moonlight fans are donating blood to try and save him.
So Mister and I are thinking of doing it too, and me especially since I have my superhuman ability to bleed so what’s a few pints to a girl like me, right? And Mister loves Moonlight too and he kept saying he felt “gutted” all day Friday after he heard the terrible, terrible news. But the problem we’re having is that we want the blood to go to vampires only. I’ve never donated blood before since I’m sure I’d throw up and pass out because I’m a really big baby that way and I about bring my mom with me for a blood test, so I don’t really know how it works when you go, but I think I’ll insist they write on the bag o’ blood “for vampires only.” And then they’ll have to honor my request because it’s my blood and I get to say what happens with it. Don’t I? Like I could also have them write “for smart people only” except it’ll be “for vampires only” instead.
You can do that, right?
So here’s where you guys come in. You can either go here and sign the petition to end the merciless slaughter of vampires or you can go to the blood bank and donate some blood and say that Crissy sent you and that you only want the blood to be given to vampires, preferably Mick St. John. There are like, tens of you, so if you all go I’m sure that the blood bank will call CBS and tell them the news and they’ll be so overwhelmed by such a grand gesture that they will have to put the show back on and then I will have single handedly with the help of tens of people saved the day thereby making millions of Moonlight fans very, very happy and also making Mick St. John fall in love with me real. hard. and we will get married and he will turn me into a vampire and that means I will live forever which also means I will be able to blog forever and don’t you want that to happen?
I promise I won’t bite you.
- Hello Darkness My Old Friend
- This post is pretty much meaningless to those of you who don’t know what Team Edward or Team Jacob or Team Bill or Team Eric means.
- This Post is Dedicated to Crissy’s Friend Chris Who Loves Hearing About Edward
- We’ll See About This Edward Fellow.
- Sho-ould Old Ac-quain-tance Bee For-got And Ne-ver Na Na Hummm….