As you are all aware, I have always been a wonderful dancer and it will surprise you to know that I’ve never even had one lesson. And I’ve been scared to take lessons because I’m afraid that my natural and innate talent for the art of movement would make the instructor and other students feel overwhelmed–sort of how you’d feel if Jesus walked into the room right now.
However, I’ve always felt that taking lessons could bring my dancing to a whole ‘nuther level but since I’m saving up for my BMW, I can’t really afford to pay for them right now. So I got this helpful DVD out of the library.
I think I did rather well, actually.
I’m a hip hop Soopa-sta!
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May 7th, 2008 at 5:36 am
Loved this. And I agree with Char–you are a superstar! You are to hip-hop what Vanilla Ice is to rap music…
May 7th, 2008 at 6:54 am
Seriously? You should try out to be a back-up dancer. I’m thinking Janet (if you’re nasty) or Brittany or maybe you could be the next Spice Girl. I dunno, but you’ve got talent, girl!
May 7th, 2008 at 7:13 am
I’ve forwarded your video to So You Think You Can Dance and Step It Up And Dance. They were notably impressed but said that they could not accept your entry because the show was strictly for amateurs, whereas you, my dear, are obviously a professional.
May 7th, 2008 at 8:21 am
Fan-freakintastic dancing! What you need to do now is try belly dancing. For real yo.
May 7th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Rach- You know it! Rollin in my 5.0 with my rag-top down so my hair can blow…
Nilsa- I was practicing for the wedding.
Dingo- They keep rejecting me and it’s always a new excuse every time!
http://crissyspage.com/2008/02/29/crissylicious-on-the-high-cost-of-fame/
Marie- That’s funny you suggest Belly dancing because Rachel suggested the Carmen Elektra stripper workout, but I coulnd’t find a copy in time. Darn it all!
May 7th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Really, you were practicing for me? Well, if you can add DJ to your Dance Instructor list, then we can fire at least one of our vendors. Kthxbai!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:18 am
i want you to try some of those moves in the sack tonight, ok?
May 7th, 2008 at 10:25 am
Um, don’t try the kicking ones in the sack though, please.
I’m looking out for Ken, yo.
(AWESOME POST)
May 7th, 2008 at 10:35 am
Nilsa- Yeah. Honey fire them all. I’ll be the bartender, the DJ, whatever you want. Hell, I’ll even perform the ceremony if you want.
Neth- Are you sure about that? I didn’t know you were into pain, but whatever honks your hooter is fine by me.
Kiala- I think he’d prefer it if I tried the Carmen Electra striptease workout don’t you think?
(AND THANK YOU)
May 7th, 2008 at 10:39 am
1) I want MC Cash’s outfit so bad it hurts.
2) Bust it out! I think you found the name for your blog.
3) Your moves were really improving there at the end. Really.
May 7th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Cameraman/husband with the dog part FTW.
May 7th, 2008 at 11:36 am
i’d like to honk your hooters (.Y.)
i also wouldnt be averse to getting kicked in the sack in the sack also
May 7th, 2008 at 11:45 am
While I did notice, at the very beginning of your MC Cash routine, your dog running and hiding under the couch, that was plainly meant as an expression of deference and awe rather than a deathly fear of mortal injury.
I’m not fooled, though. It’s obvious that you edited out hours and hours of practice and missteps. Nobody could nail a dance routine like that on the first try.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Chris- I think that outfit would be dope on you.
Brewcaster- That was my favorite part too.
Aznman- You Chinese are so kinky!
stoogepie- Oh no, no. I’m really that good. I knew no one would believe it!
May 7th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Seriously how many times did you fall down?
It looked like you nearly kicked the TV a few times and having girlfriend chanting “mommy you’re a superstar” was just great.
May 7th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Hip? Hip Hop? Hip Hop Anonymous?
Now we know what Billy Blanks was doing before Tae Bo.
I would laugh but this is what I do every Saturday night.
May 7th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
I don’t even know where to start. Too freakin’ funny. First, when are you going to come out with your own video? Second, I second Girlfriend: You’re a superstar! And Third, I was a bit worried you were going to kick the TV - it’s just that the kicks were so good…
May 7th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
hehehe
“White Girl Can’t Dance”
The dog cowers, but hey, at least your kid thinks you’re cool…. of course then again, she’s still recovering from the trauma of finding out Ernie’s not anatomically correct….
May 7th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
That was inspiring. I’m totally serious. I have no idea what I’m inspired to do, exactly, but I plan to vimeo it, because if I can be even 1/8 as funny as that was, then I’ll know what it means for jesus to walk into a room. Or to bring down the house. Or whatever MC Cash said at the end.
May 7th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
I just realized I never commented even though I’ve watched this 3 times now. Fucking hilarious! GF just added to the hilarity! Mommy, you’re silly! I never knew you were so gazelle-like. Loved it!
May 7th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
The adorable cries of “Look Mommy, you’re a soopa-star” definitely make the video.
May 8th, 2008 at 5:30 am
Jim- I never fall down. I have superior balance and stamina.
rs27- Great! Let’s go out Saturday night and show people how it’s done.
Meg- I’d do a video, but you know Madonna and Britney are all going to get jealous and hate on me. I don’t need that kind of bullshit in my life. Ya, know?
K2- You should see her dance. Then you’ll know why she thinks I’m good. The gift for dance runs in the family.
Melissa- I think he said “rock the house,” but my house was rocked enough, thanks. I am soooo looking forward to seeing your Vimeo.
Lynne- You’ve done that workout haven’t you?
Angela- She said it so many times we had to edit it out! It was really cute.
May 8th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Good point - the last thing anybody needs is Brit Brit coming after you with an umbrella or Madonna trying to convince you that nude-colored bodysuits are the new black.
May 11th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
You get some serious height on those kicks! Ever thought of being a Rockette? Love the dog at the end!
August 12th, 2008 at 6:22 am
[...] But don’t. worry. Internettians. Crissy knows how to handle these situations. He’s been spanked very, very, soundly (No, there’s no video of it. Pigs.) and sent right back to the editing room. He will not be allowed food nor drink nor play through until he produces a video befitting The Queen of Fucking Everything. [...]