Dance, yo.

As you are all aware, I have always been a wonderful dancer and it will surprise you to know that I’ve never even had one lesson. And I’ve been scared to take lessons because I’m afraid that my natural and innate talent for the art of movement would make the instructor and other students feel overwhelmed–sort of how you’d feel if Jesus walked into the room right now.

However, I’ve always felt that taking lessons could bring my dancing to a whole ‘nuther level but since I’m saving up for my BMW, I can’t really afford to pay for them right now. So I got this helpful DVD out of the library.

I think I did rather well, actually.

I’m a hip hop Soopa-sta!

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  1. Loved this. And I agree with Char–you are a superstar! You are to hip-hop what Vanilla Ice is to rap music…

  2. Seriously? You should try out to be a back-up dancer. I’m thinking Janet (if you’re nasty) or Brittany or maybe you could be the next Spice Girl. I dunno, but you’ve got talent, girl!

  3. I’ve forwarded your video to So You Think You Can Dance and Step It Up And Dance. They were notably impressed but said that they could not accept your entry because the show was strictly for amateurs, whereas you, my dear, are obviously a professional.

  4. Really, you were practicing for me? Well, if you can add DJ to your Dance Instructor list, then we can fire at least one of our vendors. Kthxbai!

  5. Nilsa- Yeah. Honey fire them all. I’ll be the bartender, the DJ, whatever you want. Hell, I’ll even perform the ceremony if you want.

    Neth- Are you sure about that? I didn’t know you were into pain, but whatever honks your hooter is fine by me.

    Kiala- I think he’d prefer it if I tried the Carmen Electra striptease workout don’t you think?

  6. 1) I want MC Cash’s outfit so bad it hurts.
    2) Bust it out! I think you found the name for your blog.
    3) Your moves were really improving there at the end. Really.

  7. i’d like to honk your hooters (.Y.)

    i also wouldnt be averse to getting kicked in the sack in the sack also

  8. While I did notice, at the very beginning of your MC Cash routine, your dog running and hiding under the couch, that was plainly meant as an expression of deference and awe rather than a deathly fear of mortal injury.

    I’m not fooled, though. It’s obvious that you edited out hours and hours of practice and missteps. Nobody could nail a dance routine like that on the first try.

  9. Chris- I think that outfit would be dope on you.

    Brewcaster- That was my favorite part too.

    Aznman- You Chinese are so kinky!

    stoogepie- Oh no, no. I’m really that good. I knew no one would believe it!

  10. Seriously how many times did you fall down?

    It looked like you nearly kicked the TV a few times and having girlfriend chanting “mommy you’re a superstar” was just great.

  11. Hip? Hip Hop? Hip Hop Anonymous?

    Now we know what Billy Blanks was doing before Tae Bo.

    I would laugh but this is what I do every Saturday night.

  12. I don’t even know where to start. Too freakin’ funny. First, when are you going to come out with your own video? Second, I second Girlfriend: You’re a superstar! And Third, I was a bit worried you were going to kick the TV – it’s just that the kicks were so good…

  13. hehehe

    “White Girl Can’t Dance”

    The dog cowers, but hey, at least your kid thinks you’re cool…. of course then again, she’s still recovering from the trauma of finding out Ernie’s not anatomically correct….

  14. That was inspiring. I’m totally serious. I have no idea what I’m inspired to do, exactly, but I plan to vimeo it, because if I can be even 1/8 as funny as that was, then I’ll know what it means for jesus to walk into a room. Or to bring down the house. Or whatever MC Cash said at the end.

  15. I just realized I never commented even though I’ve watched this 3 times now. Fucking hilarious! GF just added to the hilarity! Mommy, you’re silly! I never knew you were so gazelle-like. Loved it!

  16. Jim- I never fall down. I have superior balance and stamina.

    rs27- Great! Let’s go out Saturday night and show people how it’s done.

    Meg- I’d do a video, but you know Madonna and Britney are all going to get jealous and hate on me. I don’t need that kind of bullshit in my life. Ya, know?

    K2- You should see her dance. Then you’ll know why she thinks I’m good. The gift for dance runs in the family.

    Melissa- I think he said “rock the house,” but my house was rocked enough, thanks. I am soooo looking forward to seeing your Vimeo.

    Lynne- You’ve done that workout haven’t you?

    Angela- She said it so many times we had to edit it out! It was really cute.

  17. Good point – the last thing anybody needs is Brit Brit coming after you with an umbrella or Madonna trying to convince you that nude-colored bodysuits are the new black.

  18. You get some serious height on those kicks! Ever thought of being a Rockette? Love the dog at the end!

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