Okay so I manage to go to the grocery store alone yesterday.
It’s only because girlfriend refused to go with me. I would have taken her, I swear.
So I go to the deli counter.
He’s there.
My number comes up.
It’s my turn, and I can feel my face getting hot.
Bow chica wow wow…
And he says:
“What can I get for you today ma’am?”
Bow chicka woooorrrrriiiiiiiippppppppp!
He called me ma’am.
I thought we had something special.
I had this vision of us together just like a couple on the cover of a romance novel…the wind from the overhead vents delicately stroking my heaving bosom, his hard salami pressed up against my leg, the number 69 appearing on the “now serving customer number” sign above us.
Sigh.
Now I know it can never be between us.
I’m just another housewife to him. Buying cheese on a Sunday afternoon.
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March 17th, 2008 at 9:18 am
Welcome to the Ma’am club. I’ve been getting ma’amed since 2001. It sucks.
March 17th, 2008 at 9:43 am
I’ve been getting ma’amed for a long time now. I just didn’t think it would come from HIM!!!
I thought he liked me…sniffle.
March 17th, 2008 at 10:30 am
maybe “ma’am” is Italian for “sexy as hell woman that I want to do bad things to?”
maybe?
March 17th, 2008 at 10:36 am
Chris-I hadn’t thought of that! Does anyone out there speak Italian who can translate for me? That must be what he meant.
March 17th, 2008 at 11:34 am
I’m sure that’s it.
March 17th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Hmmm Ma’am. How did he say it? Maaaam with smile? or just ma’am. Wham bam thank you Ma’am is pretty sexual. BUT It is a step down from Hun. I think you better wear a little less clothes next time and take a walk through the frozen food isle before you get your deli meats. You are starting to lose his attention.
March 17th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Chris-Thank you for your words of comfort and encouragement.
Wired-It was just a ma’am as if nothing had ever transpired between us in my imagination! I can’t believe this is happening! I’ll be sure to take your advice next shopping trip…What if I stuff my shirt with Charmin and a couple of frozen peas?
March 17th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
What if the peas start to melt, he might think you’re lactating LOL This might turn him on… Better stay natural with a very thin bra to show off the twins
March 17th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Wired-But I’m trying to turn him on! The peas just might work! It’s genius!
March 17th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
I think you should start ordering your cold cuts in inches–”I need nine inches of your hard salami, please.”
OR
If you’re feeling especially naughty, you should show how big of a salami fits in your mouth…*gasp* it’s the forgotten “dick-a-like”!
March 17th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Better to be called “Ma’m than “Hey you.” Don’t sweat the small stuff.
March 19th, 2008 at 1:41 am
Nice to know that life is still life and not a cheap porno. I recently had my first “excuse me sir” and I knew my boyish looks had gone forever. I am one those people that in my thirties I love to get carded. Makes me feel find of funny, like when I used to climb the rope in Gym class.