Well I must say it’s been a whirlwind week!

Yesterday I found this on my desk:

DSC08370s.jpg DSC08371s.jpg

It’s a blackmail note. Sadly for the blackmailer, I don’t have $10,000. Go ahead and do your worst Ms. You Know Who (Lynne!). I’m not afraid!

And then yesterday this came to the house in the mail:


I don’t know who sent my video in as an audition tape to Dancing with the Stars, but they don’t want me. Bastards wouldn’t know talent if it Momboed right up their ass! Thanks anyway. It means a lot to know that you believe in me. Maybe you could send it in to So You Think You Can Dance? I like that show better anyway. Less ballroom, more hardcore booty shakin’.

I won’t let the haters drag me down. People get jealous when you’re at the top of your game like I am.

New bottles of coconut shampoo and tea-tree conditioner: $15.00


Squeezing the shampoo into my palm and discovering that I can act out that scene from There’s Something About Mary every day in the shower:


I just wish it could make me look like Cameron Diaz…sigh

I know what you’re thinking.  

I’ve been promising to do another “Fuck A…” for a while now and I haven’t.  And you’re sad about it.

I’m sorry.  So here it is, the second installment for your reading pleasure. 

Film titles this time instead of books:

  • Goodfuckers
  • Pulp Fuction
  • Fast Fuck Nation
  • Schlinder’s Fuck
  • Fuck Club
  • Fuckers of the Lost Ark
  • Fucked Up
  • It’s a Wonderful Fuck
  • Fucks of our Fathers
  • Taxi Fucker
  • Requiem for a Fuck
  • Batman Fucks
  • The Unfuckables
  • The Fucker Wears Prada
  • Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Fuck
  • Super Fuck Me
  • Fucking Nemo
  • Bride of Fuckinstein
  • The Neverending Fuck
  • The Fantastic Fuck

Not for nothin’, but these would make excellent porn titles (not that I would know anything about such things).

Again, this is better as a collaborative effort.  If you have something to share with the rest of the class, do speak up.