The Cold and the Soapy

There I was this morning taking a luke-warm shower when the water got progressively colder. “Crap!” I thought to myself, “I guess I’d better spread my hustle.” So I ditched the notion of shaving (Yet again. Am now a She-Yeti), speedily ran conditioner through my hair, and lathered up my body. I was just about ready to rinse off when the water shut off completely. Nothing. Nada.

“Nneeeeeettttthhhhhh!!!!!” I screamed for my husband who I knew must be the one responsible for this.

“WHAT?” he responds from deep within the house.

“No! Fucking! Water!” I yell back.

Silence…

There I am, standing in our freezing cold bathroom with conditioner in my hair and a soapy hoo-hoo with the door open to our even more freezing cold hallway when he finally appears at the top of the stairs.

“Sorry. The oil burner was out of water and I had to fill it. There’s nothing I can do” he says.

“What?” I ask while shivering and looking at him with only my left eye as the conditioner has run down into the right one.

“Do you want me to get you some paper towels or something?”

“NO! I want you to get me some hot fucking water right fucking now!” I exclaim through chattering teeth and burning squinty eye.

“Well, you’re going to have to wait a few minutes until the boiler can heat more water. I don’t know what the big deal is. Just rinse off with cold water.” I barraged a host of very naughty words at him (you can only imagine) but in the end, I still had to wait.

The water finally did come back on, but I wound up running late and catching a bone-deep chill that I cannot get rid of despite two sweaters and a steaming Vanilla Chai.

I’m still freezing my nips off, my eye is red, but at least my hoo-hoo isn’t soapy anymore.

How was your shower this morning?

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2 comments

  1. Mine was toasty warm but I still didn’t shave! If I wasn’t laughing so hard at the image of you standing there soapy and squinty, I’d have to feel sorry for you. Next time hubby is in there, pour a cup of cold water over the top of the shower curtain onto him and see how he likes it!

  2. Well this is the first time a visit your blog and I am surprised.. And a little scared 🙂 Funny post – off course the husband is always to blame! Tough life being a husband and all but somebody got to do it.. Hope your showers are better since..

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