Sick Day

I’m home sick today.

I’ve been dragging myself around pretending not to be sick for a week and I’ve given up. I’m sick. And because I was in denial for so long, I’m getting worse instead of better. Between the waves of nausea, bouts of the chills, the endless runny nose and sneezing fits, I am only able to get off the couch to change Disney DVDs, fetch snacks and wipe Mustang Sally’s bottom for her. Of course, by the time I’m done taking care of her, I have to come back and lie down again. I’d give anything for someone to bring me nice hot Vanilla Chai and a bowl of Campbell’s Chicken & Stars soup with extra sodium and ironically no chicken (the only acceptable food when you’re sick in my opinion) with friendly little orange goldfish crackers floating in it…mmmmm, not gonna happen.

Right now, my daughter is glued to 101 Dalmatians (does anyone else cry during this movie or am I really that sick?) and has covered herself and the floor in puffy Hello Kitty stickers and carrot cake. I feel guilty because it’s a snowy day and she’s dying to go outside to play, but I just can’t do it. After I get her dressed in all her gear, and take it all off because she has to use the potty, I’ll need an hour’s nap.  I suck as a mother.

It’s a funny thing that happens to me when I call in sick. No matter how wretched I feel, I’m consumed with guilt and spend the whole day feeling like a total shit-ass for not going in. Is anyone else afflicted with crappy employee syndrome? I think I need a support group for that too…

I’d love to complain some more but have to go. My daughter is demanding another snack and the dog refuses to get up and get it for her.

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  1. If spending the afternoon calling in sick, catering to a toddler while mopping up any personal ooze is preferable to the cozy warm library with it’s big bowl of chocolates and adult conversation, then you really are sick and need to rest–hell, you need a valium and a stiff martini….stat.

  2. I think the guilt is inborne; I get it too, although it wears off by 9:20. I always get the feeling people think I’m faking. Probably because most of the staff come in with bubonic plague and share their germs with everyone. (Uh, *cough, cough*, Lynne, could you put these *cough, cough* papers aaaaaahhhhhh – choooooo
    in the file?” Sure, let me get my haz-mat suit. Fucking model employees….

  3. ” Is anyone else afflicted with crappy employee syndrome? I think I need a support group for that too…”

    I probably need a support group for that too. Lynn is right though. Better to stay home than spread it.

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