I’m home sick today.
I’ve been dragging myself around pretending not to be sick for a week and I’ve given up. I’m sick. And because I was in denial for so long, I’m getting worse instead of better. Between the waves of nausea, bouts of the chills, the endless runny nose and sneezing fits, I am only able to get off the couch to change Disney DVDs, fetch snacks and wipe Mustang Sally’s bottom for her. Of course, by the time I’m done taking care of her, I have to come back and lie down again. I’d give anything for someone to bring me nice hot Vanilla Chai and a bowl of Campbell’s Chicken & Stars soup with extra sodium and ironically no chicken (the only acceptable food when you’re sick in my opinion) with friendly little orange goldfish crackers floating in it…mmmmm, not gonna happen.
Right now, my daughter is glued to 101 Dalmatians (does anyone else cry during this movie or am I really that sick?) and has covered herself and the floor in puffy Hello Kitty stickers and carrot cake. I feel guilty because it’s a snowy day and she’s dying to go outside to play, but I just can’t do it. After I get her dressed in all her gear, and take it all off because she has to use the potty, I’ll need an hour’s nap. I suck as a mother.
It’s a funny thing that happens to me when I call in sick. No matter how wretched I feel, I’m consumed with guilt and spend the whole day feeling like a total shit-ass for not going in. Is anyone else afflicted with crappy employee syndrome? I think I need a support group for that too…
I’d love to complain some more but have to go. My daughter is demanding another snack and the dog refuses to get up and get it for her.