How Did THAT Get in There?

Contents of my purse:

  • Dried out diaper wipes
  • 1 pair purple Curious George panties, size 2- 3T
  • 1 pair Princess Feel n’ Learn Pull Ups
  • 1 pair smudgy black sunglasses
  • 1 Elmo Aqua Doodle book with magical water pen
  • Expired subway coupons
  • 1 small black plastic panther, tail partially chewed off
  • Note pad & pink pen
  • $3.39
  • Movie stub from Sweeney Todd (Does it make me a bad person if I think Johnny is still yummy when he’s slashing throats?)
  • Grocery list from 3 weeks ago–can be recycled as I am already out of most of the stuff on it
  • Hair elastics x 4
  • A tiny battery I’ve been carrying around so long I forgot what it’s for and why I’m carrying it
  • Green paint samples
  • Stunning lack of tampons and pads and me expecting my period any fucking second!  I guess I can use the Pull Up.
  • Trail Mix or as my daughter calls it “Trammix.”
  • 2 small white plastic poodle barrettes that “hurt my eyebrows momma.”
  • Pine needles (wtf?)
  • Tropical Splash gum
  • Bits of notebook frizzies
  • Cat hair
  • Cell phone with perpetually dead battery
  • 3 small tin insect pins
  • Liquefied gum–still in wrapper and now stuck to lining of my $400 Coach bag
  • 3/4 of a 375 ml. bottle of Sailor Jerry Spiced Navy Rum

I believe you can tell a lot about a woman by the contents of her purse.   According to my purse I’m a disorganized, incontinent alcoholic baglady with a penchant for hair accessories and gum. All I need is a handgun and I think I could be instutionalized based solely on the contents of my bag.

What does your purse/wallet say about you? 

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3 comments

  1. My purse, containing a 100 year old coupon holder, Tide to go, lipgloss, Abreva and an empty wallet says I’m a sloppy, boring middle aged poor woman with herpes. I think I’d rather be you.

  2. Business cards, lip liner & gloss, gift bag, pad of paper, vibrating toy bunny, hand cream, sunglasses, kleenex, 2 checkbooks, 2nd wallet, more lip gloss, 3rd checkbook, coupons, receipts, gift card to Bonefish Grille, kids recipe book, 4 pens, slice of plastic cheese, inspirational cd, and clipboard says that I am a well glossed mommy who needs to really look into a portable file cabinet.

  3. i think that you can tell more from the contents of the trunk of a man’s car than in his wallet…hmmm..but perhaps thats only because he cant hold much in a wallet…now what if it was common practice for a male to carry a purse??? what kind of interesting things would we find?

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