Here’s further evidence that I’m 80.
Last night, while putting my daughter in the bath, I got a sharp pain in my right boob. I felt the spot where the pain was coming from and discovered a smallish bump deep underneath my skin. It’s a tumor, I thought. My life flashed before my eyes and I became very depressed because I won’t live to see my daughter grow up.
Today, my entire right boob hurts, but mostly in a place not even close to the place that hurt last night. This means that the tumor grew over night and spread throughout my entire body. It couldn’t possibly be because I keep pressing it to see if the bump is still in there (which it isn’t).
It couldn’t be the first month on a new birth control pill that is wreaking havoc on every other aspect of my being from out of control crying jags to monumental weight gain.
Nay, nay.
I’m dying.
Remember me fondly…
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December 30th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
So this is what you think about while you’re at the Reference Desk? hmmmm… I vote it’s the new pills but if you suddenly collapse at work, I’ll take you to the doctor. Someone has to drive you right???!!!
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:17 am
i’ve heard that this type of situation demands immediate and constant breast exams.
i’m just saying.
February 26th, 2008 at 11:44 am
after months of frequent, intensive exams, i have found my lovely wife’s lovely breasts to be completely healthy. however, the exams MUST continue in order to be sure…
August 4th, 2008 at 8:03 am